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Old 12-30-03, 04:37 PM   #1
The Deception
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Deception As A Weapon

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Deception,I use it as a strategic weapon.
Cover my track marks,so enemies dont let off sparks
I Dissapear in the night.
Though my soul wont take flight.
Cause Im an Angel, whose afraid of the light.
I feel death tonight,at a young age.
It comes in the form of an ambitious gauge.
I have talks with God.
Even walks with God.
About my life's status.
Walkin through Heaven with a homing stratus.
So I took a page from Niccolo Machiavelli.
Hired me a look alike to be found dead in a alley.
So I can get out of Cali,and head over to Miami.
My death though was still a speculation.
Rumors said I was alive,jus switched locations.
Really I ditched salvation, cause I missed isolation.
While asleep I would have homicidal dreams.
Of homicidal fiends,trying to take a nigga's cream.
Wakin up sweating, grippin on my bead sheets.
A nigga wont face defeat,at my enemies feet.
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Old 12-30-03, 04:40 PM   #2
Menik
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From: Mifflinburg, PA
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You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.
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Old 12-30-03, 04:44 PM   #3
The Deception
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Liba Dee

Penskills

RythmicTendicies
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Old 12-30-03, 05:00 PM   #4
Echo
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This was okay. Flow was off and so was structure. Good concept though. Keep at it.
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Old 12-30-03, 05:03 PM   #5
RythmicTendicies
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pretty decent...reminded me off 'pac though...was it inspired by him..?

Youn have good vocab, and you used it well, didn't over use or under use it...Flow was good, you had some nice internals in here, flowed long pretty nicely...

"Rumors said I was alive,jus switched locations.
Really I ditched salvation, cause I missed isolation.
While asleep I would have homicidal dreams.
Of homicidal fiends,trying to take a nigga's cream."
- nice...

try to come up with a more original topic, rather than 'pac...but you have potential..use it wisely...3/5
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Old 12-30-03, 05:04 PM   #6
Penskills
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From: ``Mahayana
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..it was an average drop..your flow was average..seemed like your vocab was 'below' average..your content was a little weak...to think it over this was a below average drop..good luck on the next one..
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