we talking bout too easy - E A S and Y
she hurt me more than once, still aint seen me cry
its like the feeling wont leave till they see me die
but i aint givin up on what could be good - i gotta try
but you been making so many wrongs, you still aint right
and i could keep writin love songs, but should i still fight
if you take advantage of these feelings, just for attention
i know its love, thats something i might have forgot to mention
my stomaches wrenchin, not another heartbreak
i care about you too much for you to make another mistake
im not sayin its gotta be me, im not that selfish
caring for you is more important than what caring for myself is
cuz im seeing you hurtin, from the paths that you walk
i wish you could walk to me, just so we could talk
figure it all out, just to put our minds together
in mine, i know we could put our hearts together forever
but if thats not how you feel, then i understand
then what i dont get is how you can see me as your man
i would treat you like a queen, give you all that i can
my heart is all about you, but if i dont fit in your plan
dont make it seem like i do
thatll just lead to more hurt because i love you

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

This Was Rather Deep Cuz. . Rhymes Were A Lil Simplistic, But Flow Was Almost On-Point. . Props For That. . It's Like You Fightin For This Girl's Love N She Tryna Give It To You. . But Actin' Shady At The Same Time, Like She Can't Make Her Mind Up. . Been In That Situation Befo' Cuz. . Ain't A Good Spot To Be Stuck In. . I Was Feelin' This Tho. .

im not sayin its gotta be me, im not that selfish
caring for you is more important than what caring for myself is
^^^ Thas How Most Guys Feel. . Def. Feelin' Those Lines.

Keep Um Droppin' Man, Jus Up Ya Rhymes A Lil Bit And Stray From Simplicity. . Pz.

- Return The Favor When I Drop {A Glimpse} Aiight. . Good Look -

__________________

"You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks."

You'd think that would be easy to understand....

Anyway,

Very nice flow on this piece, but I agree that it's fairly simplistic. Not that it isn't as good than all the R&B shit you hear on the radio (don't even know if this is that sort of thing but that's how it sounded in my head.)

I also really felt that it was a geniune song which can make up for a few lyrical shortcomings.

it was really simple and a kind of boring tipic. your structure needs work and you need to work on wordplay. it got kind of boring and simplistic after a while. i think you can do better than this.

Your Flow to me was Ok..
Pretty Simple.. But that's Ok..Dependin On the Subject..
Soundz Like Some SouthStar Shit Tho..

__________________

Man I really really enjoyed reading this peice ..... fo real ............ keep it up.

__________________
"The Legion" takes no prisoners!

I can be nice but dont make me mad....cause when I loose control.......your dead !!

my site:



http://freestyleman.proboards25.com/index.cgi

s'ok. flow was off. but i liked the content. i been in that sitch too. si i could feel ya on bits. bitches are fucked man. you just gotta realise, most of em aren't thinkin of you at all... try peeping some of my shit...

peace and keep it real homies. bro's before hoe's any day...

U need to work on ur syllables and structure a tiny bit.....Didnt get into the topic that well.....Cuz i was drawn into lookin at the skillfucl side of it...

Not allot relly u need to work on ...Vocab was orite...

so just the other 2 thing thn...Holler mine..Peace