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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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01-04-04, 09:38 AM
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#1
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New to RB
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All good things...
IP:
All Good Things Think back...ponder over wasted chances, Misbuilt romances & complicated finances, Screwed situations..rotten from the the foundations, Each daily rotation only increases the complications, Trivial problems escalate beyond retrieval, Uncontrollable evil the cause of much upheaval, Heartbroke the day these events occured, Ill never love anyone,as much as i did her, Everything seemed to be going fine, I was hers...and she was mine, Enjoyed great times,life was for once worth living, Pray to thank god for all the happiness he was giving, But feelings of content were shortlived, Didnt wanna face the truth, just ran and hid, Ever since i lost my only loved girlfriend, Ive realised, All good things come to an end,
__________________
<center>Suicide inc.</center> |
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01-04-04, 09:55 AM
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#2
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Guest
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IP:
good concept, flow and vocab..vocab stood out the most to me..well written and understandable without being to simple...its all about balance...lol
keep droppin |
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01-04-04, 12:17 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP:
Ok, this piece was alright... I thought you could get some multi's in there or something. The flow was perfect. I think you need too make shit not as simple... like add some complexity or somethin. I think u need to elevate.
peace |
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01-04-04, 06:53 PM
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#4
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Word.
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IP:
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.
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01-05-04, 12:37 AM
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#5
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Flyweight
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IP:
lol, yo, nice ryme technique you got there. i like it so much that i had to read it three times. i feel you.
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01-05-04, 01:05 AM
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#6
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Guest
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IP:
Well, I feel your pain .....hoes are hoes don't go near them less their naked.
Anyways, this looked like something for poetry forum rather than open mic, Couldn't find your flow...might just be me though. keep droppin. |
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