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Old 01-08-04, 02:26 AM   #1
G ShYNE
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KoreaN LyRicisT ExcluSivE

IP:

Yo, You aint a killa you aint real~you aint gettin that scrilla or clappin that steel
you tryna conceal the fear that you feel~I let the banger reveal and eat yo face like a meal
I put the war to the lord~I keep it raw to the core
stomp out yo jaw on the floor~have you sippen yo food through a straw
have you spend the next few months in the comfort of yo bed~til I come up to yo crib and confront you with the lead
let off six shots to the front of yo head~then let off six more to confirm that you dead
the ratchets i pack it, by the elastic in my jacket, shit get drastic I blast it~fuck intensive care send you straight to yo casket
I stay with my gun tucked, beef come I straight buck~aim for yo head, fuck luck the red dot'll leave yo brain plucked
I know ya'll pray for my defeat, so I keep my holdsters wit the heat~my toasters are elite, get hit it feel like boulders thats what beat~you from yo shoulders to yo feet, leave you slumped inside the roadster in the seat~wit yo picture on missin posters in the street
it dont take much to get yo life took~put yo ear to the street my name alone'll have you all shook~I got the mentality of a true crook~it comes from years of playin the corner like a chess rook
years spent on the block I keep the essence of a rider~I let off wit the tec and transform yo fitted cap into a visor
let the slugs rest in yo dome and make yo head a little wider~and give off the scent of gun powder when you perspire........................


Holla BacK
FeeDBacK PlZ




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Old 01-08-04, 02:48 AM   #2
G ShYNE
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whats good people? feedback?
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Old 01-08-04, 02:58 AM   #3
-uski-
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well Man this was alright ya Need to elevate In ya FLow and Ya Structure Paraghraph Form aint that Great...Try Like This

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and that makes it ezer to read and ya get betta flow and structure aiight man keep elevaten.....PeacE.....
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Old 01-08-04, 04:16 AM   #4
Menik
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From: Mifflinburg, PA
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yeah this was ok....like uski said structure you pieces better....you had some alright multies but try to make those better as well....flow was alright, it could have been better....your vocab was ok, try to up it though...but keep at it.
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Old 01-08-04, 08:01 AM   #5
Dev
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From: N.E.England
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thought it has some good aspects to it,,, jus not arrangewd in the best way.... work on the overall feel of the drop....the execution let it down some... but with some work, could be decent.....pZ
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Old 01-08-04, 11:05 AM   #6
one soul
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..fisrt Korean People are cool!..now on your flow..this was okay..fucked up structure and weak vocab..work on it!
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Old 01-09-04, 05:53 AM   #7
G ShYNE
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whats good? some more feed back plz
and check out my second exclusive
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Old 01-09-04, 09:49 AM   #8
G ShYNE
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some more feedback plz
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Old 01-11-04, 06:10 AM   #9
G ShYNE
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whats good?
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