This was a keystyle done in bout 5mins.....feedback is needed


I have my good days and I also have my bad days
And now all I know is that life works in mysterious ways
And as the sky over me greys, I take it all in my stride
Coz no-matter what happens I know I will always survive
Nothin will make me run and hide, fuck the tough times
I've been through 'em and I portray 'em through my rhymes
And in my mind I know that to my family I will never die
Deep in there hearts my memory will be forever alive
They've seen me cry and they've seen my joy and laughter
So I know they'll always be with me now and forever after
I'm learnin to think faster and not rely on somebody else
Coz I know that it's up to me to get my own money and wealth
And I'm in good health so I deliver this message to my family
I thank you all, coz for 16years, you've looked out for me...

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

i like the shit, good topic dawg cuz you gotta someone there wether its ya boys or ya fam, good rhymin, word scheme, everything dawg

Nice form of emotions
Good topic
Good flow
Good Structure
Overall... dope peice
Specially for a keystyle

Props...Keep it up

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Thanks for the comments

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

Yo, this shit was dope...families these days are usually blamed for shit...but it is good to see someone give them praise for all the help...nice...

A'ight...structure was perfect...lines are almost exactly the same length...ryhmes are tite and used in a way that they stand out...vocab is nice...and the multis are tite...

Keep up the work...

9/10

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Soundclick
NEW Myspace

OK Thanks....up

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

when i clicked on your link i must admit to thinking of seeing some wack peice, but it was good, good flow, good vocab, good peice

the only thing i can say is dont put "keystyle" in on the heading it deters most people from reading it.

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Soft focus

Whats the point of living?

The voices in my head Feat. Rule

Unlikely Alias

More Comming soon!

up

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

i thought this was a good piece.... normally key's aint too good... but this was on point all thru.... quite a basic scheme... but carried well.... and nice topic....pZ

^^Thanks....uppin

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

honestly....this board startin to seem fishy...i realizin ppl just kissin ass 2 other ppl so they'll peep their drops n shit....y ppl sayin "shit was dope" when it aint? every single post i seen (even the wackest of all 1's) ppl sayin it was still dope...u cats need 2 be 4real

this wasnt bad tho....only prob wit it....it lacked some form of creativity, content was good...flow was simple n nice tho.....wudnt say it is dope....but a good drop....

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