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01-12-04, 08:11 PM | #1 | ||
I Am The Light
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Deacon/ Sarcasm collab "the fine fruits of life"
IP:
Sarcasm (very sorry i messed up the title name- deacon My fruits of life, are hard to come by in many ways, These great strives, must be supplied by how I say, Some may say my family, is all I'd need to live, Have you stepped in my shoes lately, God rarely forgives, My insignificant sufferings, are polished by whats great, all these vibrant humblings, reiterate what i'd just state, That god rarely forgives, our past constantly relives, That through all the pain and strife, I lost the finer fruits of life, The criminal justice system wouldn't leave me alone, They'd hone in on my moves, tapping into my phones, But I couldn't leave it, to me it was the one and only fine fruit, One that supported my family, with complete diregard for the youth, I'd lost the meaning of the truth, all I wanted was a decent roof, Decent livings, squandered away as soon as act stupid, Caught in love by cupid, she's a lady officer, I knew it, Now I've got nothing, I guess I should say just screw it, Not many people get the fine fruits of life, I do, but i blew it, deacon I broke to listen on the truth of daily life, picture perfect me and a shoe case of rigid knifes Been scattered by the old, worn thin to be controlled as I slept to hear the finer things in life “Burry me” was all they said as they rang the bells “we’d rather be dead” cause we broke the necks of Hollywood Entertainment was hated night became in famine to the grass roots that twisted in a screen play of enchantment So blatantly so, we dug deep, And they found the finer fruits within this puddle of my own deceit. “He is complete” they uttered as the writers walked away I was never deserving to take part in this beautiful symphony Apparently, these lambs were generous more generous so i soon invented trust as they carried me home between a dark lit sky with in a shattered earths crust…..
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) Last edited by deacon : 01-12-04 at 08:26 PM. |
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01-12-04, 08:12 PM | #2 | ||
Over Weight
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IP:
ill...did it poetic style...dope...
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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01-12-04, 08:25 PM | #3 | ||
Over Weight
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IP:
BY THE WAY...DEAC PUT ME AS RELIK (MY OLD NAME)...I AM RELIK'S VERSE LOL..SARCASM
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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01-12-04, 08:36 PM | #4 | ||
..Soft Focus..
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IP:
Great Collabo...
Sarcasm...your verse was very wel lwrittin a nice free verse... The rhyme scheme was good rythem to read was nice as well some nice lines and vocabulary...overall you made a good impression for the reader Deacon...you had a more poetic aproach to this...but it still flowed nicely because of the lines bein shorty made the rhyme scheme easier to flow. the picture described was very unique a lot of good lines and expressions well done Over all you 2 wrote on a very unique base..the title for instance was rare...and the concept was nicely done Keep it up. If you's have time hit up something in my sig...thanks
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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01-12-04, 08:40 PM | #5 | ||
Nigga Ima OG.
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IP:
this was a great piece..
A lot of meaning, great concept.. Structure and flow was exquisite by both Now if u could be so kindly and return the favor: "When My Eyes are Closed": http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=105888
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OG Status My people skills are way better then yours, nigga.. |
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01-12-04, 08:41 PM | #6 | |
Guest
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IP:
Nice job guys. I liked the style of it. Good illistration, and vocab. Nice job overall and all around. Good job!!!
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01-12-04, 08:52 PM | #7 | ||
Over Weight
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IP:
Thanks..I owe all of you..
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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01-12-04, 09:04 PM | #8 | |
Guest
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IP:
This piece was amazing. I loved how Sarcasm created his verse multis, the picture he presented, and how the vocab was used very well in it...
Deacon, I loved the way you created it into a kind of, poetic style, yet o.m verse. You painted a very vivid picture for this, great imagry and vocab. I think this is most definately a legendz. Honesly, great job by both of you, amazing. |
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01-13-04, 11:41 AM | #9 | ||
I Am The Light
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IP:
thanks and i will forsure check out all the pieces above....
-1-
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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01-13-04, 03:43 PM | #10 | ||
Over Weight
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IP:
uppin for the sexy ness to be seen
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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01-13-04, 06:51 PM | #11 | ||
Over Weight
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IP:
don't sleep on dopeness
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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01-14-04, 11:51 AM | #12 | ||
I Am The Light
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IP:
no one cares anymore.....
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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01-14-04, 07:39 PM | #13 | ||
Over Weight
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IP:
Then I will jsut have to force them..
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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