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Old 01-12-04, 08:33 PM   #1
Tsar Casm
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From: tapdancin' on lava
deacon/Sarcasm "The Fine Fruits of Life"

IP:

Sarcasm

My fruits of life, are hard to come by in many ways,
These great strives, must be supplied by how I say,
Some may say my family, is all I'd need to live,
Have you stepped in my shoes lately, God rarely forgives,
My insignificant sufferings, are polished by whats great,
all these vibrant humblings, reiterate what i'd just state,
That god rarely forgives, our past constantly relives,
That through all the pain and strife, I lost the finer fruits of life,
The criminal justice system wouldn't leave me alone,
They'd hone in on my moves, tapping into my phones,
But I couldn't leave it, to me it was the one and only fine fruit,
One that supported my family, with complete diregard for the youth,
I'd lost the meaning of the truth, all I wanted was a decent roof,
Decent livings, squandered away as soon as act stupid,
Caught in love by cupid, she's a lady officer, I knew it,
Now I've got nothing, I guess I should say just screw it,
Not many people get the fine fruits of life, I do, but i blew it,





deacon


I broke to listen on the truth of daily life,
picture perfect me and a shoe case of rigid knifes
Been scattered by the old,
worn thin to be controlled
as I slept to hear the finer things in life

“Burry me” was all they said
as they rang the bells “we’d rather be dead”
cause we broke the necks of Hollywood

Entertainment was hated
night became in famine
to the grass roots that twisted
in a screen play of enchantment

So blatantly so, we dug deep,
And they found the finer fruits
within this puddle of my own deceit.

“He is complete”
they uttered as the writers walked away
I was never deserving to take part in this beautiful symphony
Apparently, these lambs were generous
more generous so i soon invented trust
as they carried me home between a dark lit sky
with in a shattered earths crust…..
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Old 01-12-04, 08:53 PM   #2
DthsMissingAngel
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This was a great collab. Filled with emotion and imagery. I loved it. Kind of speechless. Sorry I cant give much other feedback. Wow.
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Old 01-12-04, 08:56 PM   #3
Tsar Casm
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From: tapdancin' on lava
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Thank you...
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Old 01-13-04, 02:33 PM   #4
deacon
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From: deep inside
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thanks for the reply things look dead in here..

-1-
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Old 01-13-04, 02:39 PM   #5
Trapt Wit
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nice...

get at me for a collab sometime
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Old 01-13-04, 04:05 PM   #6
Verbatim
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From: Canada
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Very nice collab like everyone said, the emotion was played nicely through out the whole piece. The flow was very nice too well the way i read it anyway, very nice peace tho, keep droppin, peace
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Old 01-13-04, 04:44 PM   #7
Tsar Casm
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From: tapdancin' on lava
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Thank you...hey Trapt..."nice..." ain't gonna' cut it..strip for me now..free of charge...(Sarcasm kicks ass)
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Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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Old 01-14-04, 01:19 PM   #8
deacon
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From: deep inside
IP:

thanks for th input guys...lets get some more reads
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Old 01-14-04, 05:31 PM   #9
Orikle
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Yeah not bad ay..Some lines I wasn't feeling at all...That Criminal Justice shit ruined it a little.."Entertainment was hated" that just sounds soo child book i dunno...for some strange reason I wasn't feeling that but ay overall the ideas were good and written quite well...On a structural note...I'm still undecided on whether the two verses should mesh together...Un-seperated...guess it takes a little away from the personal credit but ay it still didn't come together too bad ay...well done...keep at it fellas..Check out me piece too ay.."I Always Keep My Lights On..Cheers...Pz...
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Old 01-15-04, 06:02 PM   #10
deacon
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^^^^you realize your speaking to a god of all forms of art......Entertainment was hated and thats a fact...Bic=atch
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