Imprints of my legacy burning scarlet in my mind, the despair of forgotton tears plague my soul,
My blood seething with the truth covered and tainted with exaggeration, the world oblivious to the pain one girl can hold,
A demon caught up in a furious war on love, my veins alive with torment, toils ignite inside me,
And the memory that haunts the dreams i pain to seek, drained in failure, and washed in devilish purity,
For the amount of times they tell me, i can only strive to die, my insanity drowns the bruises that i own,
The discourse of my years, succeeded only by my brain, wit trapped in a corner, while spite sits on his throne,

This was a short piece, but it was deep. I could feel the pain that was flowin throu ur body. <<weird ways of reading poetry. But I liked this. The scheme and flow was awesome. Great job ma. Keep it up.

Amazing homey u really have a creative way how u do yo poetry....nice piece i felt the dephtness and pain in this work nice keep droppin peep mine

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GhOsT - WrITeRZ
..Kidz I'll Cease to Spit 'Vowelz' An let the 'Eyez'-Inspect...
Fools On My Dick I aSSur You I got Chrome that'll leave your body count high-in-debt...
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Great stuff, keep dropping shit. I really liked this piece.

Thanks, all of you, i don't take such an aspiring interest to poetry as i used to, i been nusy concentrating on open mic, but this is my soul..my mind is an open book, freely readable by all who tap into it...

LMAO..i'm talkin nonsense and yet...it makes sense in a distorted kinda way...

(make me a legend!)

Personally, I draw little distinction between rap and poetry. The difference is as negligable as between a horse, donkey, and mule.

I was reading this as school, but wasn't able to reply 'till I got home. And I realized something. I realized when I said your name out loud, it is the same as saying "liberty". Liba Dee, Liberty. I just realized that, that is so fucking cool. (Wondering if that was done on purpose.)

Anyway this peice... there was good to it, and bad to it.

The good part was what you were writting. Personifications of feelings is just... well it's different, and you made it work quite well. One could certainly feel what you were saying.

The part I found bad was the actual structure. I dunno, but it just felt like the lines were stretched out too far. I mean, this doesn't mean that you need to start writing two worded sentences from now on, it's just here I had trouble going from one line to the next. Next time you write a peice with extended lines, who knows? It might actually work perfectly. But in this case specificfully, it doesn't work.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

It's not non sense cuz even I can see. This was a great peice. Even as i read it it took me a while to desiffer that it was all pain. great peace liba. respect from the heart hun, JT