(Scene: TheUnderRated and Daillistrebel walk into a small, dark room. A dim light shines on TheUnderRated as he starts to spit)


Deep inside are secrets that to man i confide..
tried to hide from the pain to much rain creates a tide...
Soul tested in the makin left at the point of breakin...
cause i'm constantly shakin every hour i have wakin...
head in my hands cause no understands what i've seen...
my boy outlined in chalk dead at the murder scene..
and i ran too scared like the little bitch that i am...
I could of pulled out and saved my brother *Click* and *Kabam*
could tell the kid was beefin so i screamed out run son..
shoulda just servered his mind one i mean fuck it i had a gun..
But i didn't have the heart and I thought this kid was fake..
that heartless man took my man so i stuck em at the wake...
when i knifed that kid i just couldn't stop my arm..
stuck him deep with passion till all my strength was gone..
hard to explain the mental pain brought by this experience..
walk the physical terrain mental state straight up delerious..
The inside of me twisted my heart left decaying with my boy..
cause that day no longer afraid to be spraying my toy...
i'm just praying the lord will let me be saved repent...
from then on etchin intials into ever bullet my nine ever sent..
my inner spiritual condition is fucked homie what about yours..
cause now i'm locked up ...stuck behind these cold doors...

(Dim light now shifts to Daillistrebel as he starts to spit)

Feelings are oozin, thoughts are confusin, certain spots have been bruised...
A lost detective with no clues, afraid to loose, body's been verbally abused...
A rebel without a cause, who often bends laws, and loves to question...
A sage knight, young but experienced has learned many of life's lessons...
A skitzo, one side's the gangsta who raps, the other, his dad's on his grill...
Tryin to combine both, to do well in school while reflectin on this skill...
One goal, always to shine and never let this verbal light get dimmer...
People be sayin "u can't rhyme ur white!" like I've never looked in a mirror...
Like treadin water, it's hard to stay on top, respect is hard to sustain...
Let me refrain, if you stumble, there's noone but yourself to blame...
It hurts deep inside when people judge me by my looks instead of my verses...
They just assume ma shyt is wack, just words put together with curses...
Adrenaline reverses, as I spit, not wanting to resort to any violence...
But then you realize, the only one listenin to you spit, is silence...
No guidence, they don't wanna hear you "just quit!" I've been recommended...
Suddenly you diss them in a verse, they get taken back and offended...
Where I live, I got some true friends, but others just wanna pretend...
You know that life sucks, then best part of your day is the end...
These inner thoughtz, I can't bare, noone has answered one prayer...
As I keep walking down this path of failure, that leads to nowhere...

(Both exit) Just for the record, I'm a mix so people just assume I'm white. Let's get some replys.............

__________________
Ur not wack................ I'm just better


.:IJL:.
reppin strong, wurdshizle

yeah cuz..this was a dope as peice..props to the both of you..the flow was good..although the 1st verse went better than the last..but as a whole..it had a feeling and thought place into it..but umm..I just got 1 question......what the hell were yall rapping about?..yall was just spittin..oh I see..just inner thought..next time it would be best to get a topic...but overall this was nice..


and i ran too scared like the little bitch that i am...


^^funny ass line!!!

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R.I.P. Bodie

Ummmm thanx for the reply, and the topic was "Inner Thoughtz", we just had two different perspectives, he went more towards his personal life and I went personal too, but more about myself rappin.

Uppin this, drop a link and I'll hit it back, thanx............

__________________
Ur not wack................ I'm just better


.:IJL:.
reppin strong, wurdshizle

Uppin this........

__________________
Ur not wack................ I'm just better


.:IJL:.
reppin strong, wurdshizle

word lets not sleep on this uppin it for votes......take the time its all love....

feedback plz let us know if youfeelin it or if you think we can improve,....i mean what to improve on..cause you can always improve..

ok people i would really like some feedback.......................................... ...................feed me.........

Yea, uppin this again......

__________________
Ur not wack................ I'm just better


.:IJL:.
reppin strong, wurdshizle

Please drop some feedback, upppppin......

__________________
Ur not wack................ I'm just better


.:IJL:.
reppin strong, wurdshizle

This piece should have gotten more replies lazy people..
anyways..

"Deep inside are secrets that to man i confide..
tried to hide from the pain to much rain creates a tide..."

Great opener..The first drop was very deep and well written It showed good emotions..
but some lines were simplistic over all the first drop was pretty good...TheUndeRated good job..

The second part...DaiLLestRebel

"Feelings are oozin, thoughts are confusin, certain spots have been bruised...
A lost detective with no clues, afraid to loose, body's been verbally abused..."

Nice flow a little simplistic but very nice expressive flow..

Over all it was pretty well written always kept the flow..Howver the structure could have been better...

Both emcee's did great keep it up IJL..

Thanx man much appreciated. Can we get some more responses please, uppppppin.....

__________________
Ur not wack................ I'm just better


.:IJL:.
reppin strong, wurdshizle

Cmon uppin this again.................

__________________
Ur not wack................ I'm just better


.:IJL:.
reppin strong, wurdshizle

uppin this excessivly cause its being slept on take the time sona and just be like man that was good ....or....if your so inclined be like damn wtf was that .....you guys suck but lets get some real feedback.....lazy bastards leave a link to a battle or an open mic and i'll hit it up........

yeaaaaa upppppppppin this yet again..........

__________________
Ur not wack................ I'm just better


.:IJL:.
reppin strong, wurdshizle

dope collab i must say....Under left alot of thoughts and visuals....dope....nice structure also.....Rebel had better rhyming and vocab.....also with the multis....overall nice work fam...

Best Line By TheUnderRated:


From DaIllistReBel:


Vocabulary - Rebel
Multis - Rebel
Structure - Under
Emotion - Tie
Visuals - Under
Originality - Tie
Overall - pretty dope collab from the both of u....i gotta say u had some dope concepts...nice topic...u both stuck to it and dropped good....Rebel had the better in vocabulary and flow....but Under had nicely put together verse with good visuals...like i could see what he was saying....good work

Rating
8.5/10

peace

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