ehh, i dont write much...

my knees shaking, pressured from head to toe
people saying to let it go,but i'll be dead to show
that love ends,
that there's no truth behind wives or husbands
family to cousins,the hurt of knowing the sun dims
at a time of night,
to show that theres a top,to actually climb the fight
aside the might,there's no power to strike your site
from seeing a tear drop,
another hurt soul,with a light red but cant hear stop
minds vier off,an unsteady road where peers knock
on hollow wood,
nowadays,cuz of a cross up & where docs've stood
could've followed good,but now i have to swallow hood
& everyother piece of your car,
thought of safety,almost home,driving east from the bar
n my beast of a car,i turned,to find u the least of apart
with blood running down yer door,
emotions hit my stomache,feet can barley pound the floor
sounds were sore,screaming of pain,hell was found instore
that day.

the day u left, the day u died
the day u left, the day i cried
said i'd catch u, so dont worry
because i will...so dont worry
please trust..im sorry..for this
and if u can read..read for this
this hurting moment of mine
the moment,where sun wont shine
the moment, where ive finally,
felt worthy.
the moment, where u can trust,
when i say,
dont worry.
i'll see u again someday.

dont worry.

feedback please...

come on guys... looking for some feedback on my first poem... uppin

yo dis was pretty good i like da way u put ur pain across keep droppin stuff so i can check dem out

yea... i dont write poetry, probably my only one... but thanx for the feedback... still lookin for more

i really like this poem alot. you show alot of emotion and imagery. keep writin' cuz this was good.

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Crazy spit, her shyt be emaculate...oNe

the emotion in this piece was so very strong! its a piece that focuses more of the message and the emotion then the structure and flow, for whatever lack there may be in vocab and flow is made up for by the strong emotion in it. it seems real and natural and like you were just typing this as the thoughts were coming, made it feel like it was happening right then.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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thanx for the feedback guys... keep em coming... but i doubt im gonna write anymore

come on guys and gimme some feed-back... i would really really appreciate it