I've opened my eyes now, seen many things that i've never wanted
Meanwhile ghosts of the past travel through time to keep me haunted
Remembering back to a point in time when life wasn't ever this critical
When people were different, before they grew up to become cynical
Years later, many lessons learned, when friends backs became turned
But even as hard as i've tried, there's so many things i haven't earned
So many aspects, still vacant, i guess i'm called a victim of circumstance
And the more that my mind contemplates, the less that i can advance
But without complexity i lose my entire purpose and need for curiousity
I love them both, but they're becoming the prime cause for animosity
And this pen, my only outlet to help me release all this trapped emotion
To capture it inside a page of paper, writing, my one and only true devotion
But now somehow i feel as if my aura is quickly becoming cloudy & overcast
Never seen life in plain black and white, but the gray area i can't get past
So there's absolutely no room for error, but plenty of room for improvement
So today's the official day i begin my mind's campaign for forward movement

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<img src="http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=7548">

this was a nice keystyle really thought this was good...i liked your flow it was really good...i think ya structure was ok but ya Lines seemed a bit to long but they were still ok...so ya did well for ya first drop in C.V. so keep em dropin in aiight man...PeacE...

your structure was good ryming was good and your vocab was good too, it was basically good alround and i enjoyed reading it.

give an honest vote on my battle
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108195

i thought it woz good but maybe could of used some relly good word play. no hate tho!!

uppin this shit for more feedback....quick keystyle and shit....needed to get it off my chest

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<img src="http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=7548">

this was basic in many ways... ya mainly only rhymed the last words on each line... it had a decent flow, but thats due to the scheme being so simple and the choice of words which was good, but add some internals n shit.. spice it up a bit.......
....return the favour