who knew id jump on the mic on a website-
who might be listening-im tired of the little league-
i want the lime light-fuck tees and jeans-
What about the CREAM-what about my dream-
broke as a joke-
No demo no cash, my mash choked, no deniro-
strait up zero, no female to call mine-
just weed sales and pine-
dealing drugs with slime, im tired of crime being my grind-
dear god whens my time to shine-
but maybe im not crazy maybe yall are blind

MC_BARTOK:you sound like a whiney little bitch who learned how to rym from watching the whiney little bitch show. i hate all you honky devils thinkin they can rym when there really just whiney little bitches. the only drug your dealin is imodium a mother fucken d. im black and russion and if i ever share a cell with you ill make you wish you liked country music you dumb white bitch.

Don't worry about him he is garbage. your shit was ok, i'd give it a D flow was good but need work with everything else.If u need any help feel free to PM me or get at me on yahoo or AIM or whatnot

i disagree i think it was a farely good piece, with good flow
abit too short though, youll elevate over time

Yeah thi was ok.....just work on your structure a bit, try to even the lines up a little better, but it was alright i guess.....try to make it a little more complex.....flow in this was alright i thought....try adding some multies to it though.....but keep at it.

..This was average..maybe a little below average..your flow was okay..I guess..wordplay sucked..you can only get better...

There's simple, then there's too simple. This was WAY too simple. This sounded like some mainstream artist shit....in reverse. Flow was okay, you need to work on it a little though. People need to start seriously putting their hearts into their open mics, it makes a huge difference.

Problems:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108962