Aight i'm new here so i guess i'll show you what i can do in a keystyle... not tryin too hard here...


I yield the strength to move n lift boulders/
you aint a 'match', want proof? i spit 'sulfar'/
beatin kids, breaking all their teeth and ribs/
kill you in court ... so you'll really plead to live/
lyrically... I'm a force to reckon with/
wreckin shit, cuz physically -
i'm known to bust some Tekken shit/
Go to africa hunting lions in leopard skin/
at local villages my spits are used for medicine/
i can take on reptilian forms n also shed ma skin/
or mutate into viruses ... leave you dead within/
inject mass doses in you with a lead seringe/
so ya poisoned n down for the count like wresting pins/
i'll land on ya throat from the top rope... youll never win/
beat your ass like NWA so youll have to check ya chin/
Tox lose?? think that'll happen?? bitch ya damn wrong/
you punchin but i absorb the hits like ya fists were tampons/
stole Psoidens trident n dipped the tip n a virus/
threw it at ya face n made it stick in ya iris/
stole Zuess powers and threw lightning at Hades/
every god wants to kill my offspring and babies/
feared throughout the universe, im a human curse/
at night i become vampire cuz the blood fuels my thirst/
before existance, ive been known to rule since birth/
i developed the original deathstar designed to shoot at earth/
rip black holes, smash meteors n play pool wit planets/
release gas thats deadly till every fume has vanished/
punchlines so brutal they leave ya bruised n damaged/
you'll gonna get burried alive like running lose in sand pits/
crews peep my shit and want me in... pagin left n right/
Just remember: this shit was ill n im a free agent on this site//

__________________
Intoxicated vs .iLL.
Intoxicated vs John

Ripped: Cata_Strophix, Optimus, Luminary Text

............give Some Feedback Please.............

__________________
Intoxicated vs .iLL.
Intoxicated vs John

Ripped: Cata_Strophix, Optimus, Luminary Text

wasn't bad...aight wordplay n vocab but flow was off at times....all in all tho...good attempt for a newby....

Hit my bitchslapped up if u want so we can battle?

Oh N hit my open mic up 2

ok verse topics a bit used, try something new next time.

Aight thx for the feedback - guess i need ta work on my shit some more...

__________________
Intoxicated vs .iLL.
Intoxicated vs John

Ripped: Cata_Strophix, Optimus, Luminary Text

..I really wasn't feeling this..yes it was a bit played out topic..but..your flow and wordplay made it boring..keep up..you'll only get better..

Alright - so youre saying i need more creative/complex wordplay and a more advanced flow structure?? I used to rhyme like with multi syllables...

xxxABC xxxABC
xxxABC xxxABC


I stopped because i was told my bars were stretched...but then im told this is too basic.... any suggestions??

__________________
Intoxicated vs .iLL.
Intoxicated vs John

Ripped: Cata_Strophix, Optimus, Luminary Text