check this, i did it a while back on another board.. im from the UK

- rhymes wilder than the amazon, bring the jungle to the UK -
- take pussy niggaz one-by-one, more detailed than an essay -
- each line hits like an alpha ray, spit bars without delay -
- murder, leave corps-to-mould like cheese, freeze-n-decay -
- use forks-made-outta-gold, i'm a serial killer to adore -
- hardcore hannibal, chew brains, rub skulls on the floor -
- whip-wit-canes, take organs apart, consume-to-the-core -
- mutiliate wit steel chains, nigga, what do u take me for? -
- thunda sucks blood from veins, hijack brains like planes -
- polish up flesh like bread grains, dont stop even if it rains -
- leave deminished remains, in sewages 'n' public drains -
- pipe blood cells to water taps, turn people to vampires, perhaps -
- lyrikally bust caps 'n' cause the illest of niggaz to collapse.. -

Good Opener U've Started Well
The Middle Contained Some
Un-needed Bars Like The Core Line
I Felt That Wuz A Filler, But Hey
Another UK Textcee Keep Elevatin

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nice multies...nice mettaz...

- thunda sucks blood from veins, hijack brains like planes -

good vocab....overall its not bad...3.8/5

Since I Replied To Your Open Mic It Would Only Be Fair If You Did The Same..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...166#post1118166

thanx for the feedback.. i'll check your stuff too.

Overall, pretty decent. Keep posting yo.

thanx for feedback...

pretty decent shit considering the amount of wackness that gets posted from newbies

yeah i agree this was pretty good here.....made a nice read.....you had good structure in this....had some nice multies in there, liked that....the flow in this was good i thought, it stayed on point pretty well....keep at it.