My dad busted custard guess the condom wasn't trusted/
16 years and hes never got adjusted.
Born with a disability seemed to be a liablity/
Hospital visits only mom wanted to come with me.
Dad concealing me wishing he had never bust/
A sick baby with screw's already covered by rust.
Every parent wants their child to be born healthy/
You fealt you couldn't help me, that's why you'd belt me.
Half of you is in me to make me and still you hate me/
not just lately...forsaked me since I been a baby.
Must be the reason why sometimes I hate myself/
it was like I was you when that hate I fealt.
Blame me for having me that's why you're always mad at me/
so I'm sorry for the agony I caused this family.
It was all fine 'till labour day...came to stay/
sorry I was born this way, made your sky's gray.
But you never accepted me I never fealt protected/
love you kept it so I always fealt neglected.
I'm leaving 'cos you're only there to give me beatings/
scars gone but mental pain will never start healing.
So I proclaimed myself the legitimate bastard/
dad was around for my questions but never answered.
I wasn't part of the plan when you got laid/
use to wish I'd be the best mistake you ever made.

I'm sorry...wish we could have got along...

ato i was feeling this shit it was straight up as fuck i like how yo a nebie writen good peices like this one and your new you could have a vary good repution by 100 post who know what this could be i also liked how you got deep into it

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JR.delinquents

Aye thanks man...more feedback anyone?

nice piece just work on vocab an youll elevate

Come on...tons of people checked this out but didn't reply.

Anyone???

Feelin This! Sometimes it lost the flow but generally not bad at all

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pretty good shit flow was a lil hit and miss but over all tight shit

Yeah this was alright here man....you had some good emotion in there....the flow in this was alright, it stayed on point through out the piece....sturcture in this was alright....probably could use some multies though....but keep at it.

Thanks...

I did a second verse to this as well


Raised in an unstable family since they cut my cable/
from my navel, unable to give me the love your parents gave you.
Labeled the black sheep, since I tapped feet on earth I was trapped deep/
every single one of my songs you can consider a facts sheet.
16 years later, none the greater getting dirty paper/
mom's a stranger can't communicate...need a translator.
Still don't hate her...no woman is stronger than my mom/
who else can say for 16 years long they raised Tom.
Nobody, there's no price for that no money/
is better than my mommy but feel like you don't love me.
No more love in your cooking, at the dinner table just looking/
judging me and staring, you know you brought a crook in.
I use to be your little star eyed boy always with a smile/
reality catched up and changed my style.
All you ever do is complain point the finger and blame/
I'm sorry I'm such a shame 'cos we can never go back again.
Though you try to patch the sorrow it won't be better tomorow/
hopeless, genes consists of a vodka bottles and blue malboro's.
Thanks to dad,I'm not blaming him this is my life/
mom can't guide me forever I got my own sight.
I love you but now we only speak when we argue/
You say things like you don't want to get along, but I do.
Sorry for everything, if I could I'd find the oinment/
take away the poignant pain I've brought from dissapointment.