(My whole life has been for you, all I planned to do
Was be the man you choose,but can’t understand the rules
When I win I lose, it seems for you there’s no pleasing
Got beat for no reason, I think I did good,but still on the floor pleading
My hearts bleeding, hurt but still needing your acceptance
Can’t you see I’m your reflection, I’m a man you must respect it)

{I’m about 2 seconds from beating you like you stole something
Stop actin like a hoe son and. Take the pain and grow from it
I show lovin the only way I know how, so slow down, change your profile
Before we have a show down, was raised on tough love, and mad it my own style
You feeling broke down? Be a man and lift yourself up
Stop being a punk,everyday cryin bout how you had enough
How about standing up, I know know I ain’t raise no pussy
You think I’m doin something wrong, then show me how it should be
Must have took me for you muta, I don’t respond to that sissy crap
Dig this you brat, whine to me again, and rock your jaw ‘till in splits in half}


(Listen dad,I’m not trying to take it there but it’s my word
Forget the verbs,lift you hand to me again,get what you deserve)

{Oh your showin nerve, you feelin froggy then leap son
Always star gazin I’m about to make you see some}

(I knew you would try this pop that’s why I brought my friends
Smith and Wesson, yeah now you’re not talking shit
I walked in this, room just to see if we reconcile
This mess but I'll be better off without your heckling PAL)

{Hold it now son, you don’t want to do this
You can shoot a man, nah that ain’t gonna prove shit
Put the Gun down and show me what a man you are}

(Shut the hell up I’m tired of all these damn new scars)

(Get on your knees and say a prayer, please god forgive me
But I have to take his life lord, I can’t keep the secret in me
He’s been rapin me since age 5, and wonder why I’m so confused
My hope is.. you underdstand this is what I have to do)

{Baby what are you doing, put it down have you gone crazy
The boy has finally lost it why would I rape my own baby
Father save me, baby you shot me , I can’t believe it
I’m bleeding my heart ain’t beating, my own wife deceived me}

(Thank you mom, I’m sorry I got you in to this
now we both can live in peace, first we gotta get ridda him)

Strange ending, I wasn't expecting it. I actually had to read it over, more thoroughly again. Overall this piece was alright. With a story-line structure like this, it's not always smart to put too much dialect in it, and if you are you have to make sure you put alot of emotion in the words. I didnt feel all of that emotion, but i enjoyed the read. Nice piece. Keep writing.

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~.:Soft Focus:.~
{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
{-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-}
{--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--}
{-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-}
{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."

i had ta reread it before i could speak on it...so i did..and now i can. i liked the ending..and i like the story...but i liked how it started the most...i was truly feelin it until bout...(Shut the hell up I’m tired of all these damn new scars)
after that line i kinda lost a lot of interest cus it wasnt about wut i thought it was but thas not any reflection of ur skills or the poem's quality...i liked the flow the back and fourth dialouge and the sudden interuption of wut u think its really about...lol..if u can read that the way it was meant to be read then u'll kno i liked the poem and i disliked it for the same reasons..lol..point is its nice u got skills...dont let ne one tell u otherwise...and dumping bodies isnt as easy as it sounds...-shi-

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...do tell...

Every lil boi is born shi......their ignorance makes them bold......

simply put"...wise words whisperd to deaf ears as no one hears the blurred proverbs that're always spoken clear so i fuckin swear that my where wont be here as time tolls..." second verse of 'Elevate' written by -shi-

Wow..I like this story. I loved the whole thing. I had to read it several times. I love it. I felt the emotion and the hurt in it. The end was twisted and thats the way I like it. Keep it up.

Damn..Nice piece here..Really intriguing..
I like the way it was written, from both the son and the father's perspective..
Even though it had sort of a tragic twist, it's satisfying in a way..
Great imagery and flow..Nice piece all around....stay up
Pz

Just checked you in the open mic but say....this is nice. You made it really easy to understand and follow. Not too complicated. Cool. Very nice piece.

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Rev 12:11 - Use your voice...

woah the end of this was something i didnt see coming really, like the mother and all, but it was a very nice twist. i like the way it was written between father and son, and it only being written by one person, coz for the most part poems like this you always see as a collab but i liked this. your flow from part to part was great, and i enjoyed the way you opened this, caught my attention right off the bat.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

check out gambling hearts or protecing a childs dream

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