yo ere it iz
yo lyer lyer my fucking pants on fire/
smoke so much dope dey call mascier/
ill be doing this shit until i fucking retire/
you like this shit then give out a flyer/
when i started at this i waz quite shit/
now everything iz gud even my girlz are fit/

im getting good now so shut up u gay/
if you want to play you have to fukin pay/
im good and strong now so get out my way/
im fuking better than you so do what i say/
my girl iz so fit you better shut up ur so shit/
ive got so much money i could fill a 2000ft pit/

i no itz short but fuck it!!!!!!!

...you should try writing about something that isn't meaningless garbage.
your flow was okay.
you didn't display wit, complexity, or even any wordplay in any of your lines.
and mascier isn't a word.
go look at some other pieces in the forum, follow their example.
write to a topic, or at least make an attempt at a funny battle rap.

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

you need to start replying to other peoples work..and ^ I agree with maven..write something with a meaning..this was weak...

yeah it waz pretty shit but my dreams better

yeah dream was much better, this was mindless bantar which isn't bad if its creative but this wasn't

y waz it closed

dream is betta dan dis y u bloked?

i dont no
dat blokes gay

yo the flow was basic n i agree wit maven n penskills..write sumthing wit a meaning not sumtin stupid like smokin herbs..but yea flow was there n so was vocab..but next time dont rap or freestyle bout that

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it was closed because you upped it like 20 times.
you even got banned and you couldn't take the hint.

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis