Everybody Rise

Feelings at the fore front of perspecitv views..
Don't be a stupid cunt with objective news..
Don't talk about killin with all your crews..
Go to church be kneelin in the Lords pews..
Few people realize that we all can rise above..
Have others idolize when idols say enough..
Everyone thinks only the killin fields are tuff..
Try being a women married to a man that's ruff..
People just keep rasing your own bar to the sky..
Don't worry about what's wrong with the other guy..
Focus on the betterment of mankind, lets hear your cry..
Others with false sentiment with which we don't abide..
Don't gamble on what others think, don't let this ride..
Everybody rise up and put your hand in with pride..
No more thinking that it doesn't rest on your shoulders..
Take the weight and run, like Hercules throwin boulders..
Everybody just keep movin forward with this idea..
When everyone moves together, we will all be freer..

Just feeling frustrated about everyone hating each other.

the first thing id say is, you need to expand on ya scheme, its no good jus rhyming the last word on a line, it makes for a boring read.... also keep to around the same syllable count per bar, itll hepl the flow.... the content was ok, but the vocab could have been more expressive... work on it....... return the favour

More feed back would be nice, I know my stuff is ruff but I'm tryin to improve.

I actually liked this piece...this was better than half of the shit on here..you had a good flow going on and ^ I agree with my free posting friend..you need to work on the scheme..but..you have a very postive attitude..so you'll get there soon..peace..

I Thought Thios Was Stronger Then Weak Yeah One Words Scheme Is Dull But Based On How You Troject It Could Show An Illness To Delivery.all And All I Think You Have Strong Ideas Yet Produced In Street Manner So Yeah You Got Ability Just Keep Polishing It.

Up this for more feedback. Thanks everyone that replied.