A little keystyle dedicated to my pops

They say the pen is so mighty
and that poets are great
so on on that note, let this poet be straight
see i could talk flows to you
talk bout how i wear my gold to you
but first, let me bear my soul to you
see it was '95 and pops died,
man i wish it was me
life costs- dont we wish it was free?
at night i dream and talk to you
you keep sayin to hold the fort for you, but other than that,
you just listen
i told you how moms was in the kitchen, sister
still riffin. at university,
but the studio works for me
before i forget - theres another one
hurts to know that SIX months after you slid-
you had another son,
jonathan,
troublesome,
yeah, he's kinda like you
i tell him bout the old days, and he really kinda likes you
matter fact, he adores you
fact remains that he never saw you,
so i'mma stay and do the job for you
i got my boyz
but they dont understand how it hurts inside-
much more than the words of this verse describe

yo if y'all got a tribute to make, here is the place to do it....

what you were saying came across, but the syllable count, knocked the flow..... even it up a bit in future, also try not to rhyme with the same words... it just looks like you couldn't think of nuthin.... also work on expanding your scheme, it will make for a much more interesting read..... hit mine...

This was alright here.....structure could use a little work but it was alright i guess....the content in this was alright i thought.....you had feeling in this.....vocab could be up'd a bit though....like Dev said try not to rhyme the same word over and over for a couple lines....but keep at it man.