Not Always What It Seems

Dazed Visions, Sittin Scopin with persision
Waitin for the que, engaved lables written
sign from god, but yet the story tells
bells ring but nothings heard, silent yells
screams bring light but yet darkness still falls gray
the vision seems clear but yet it fades away
hazed views, the looks smudged, not real?
knowing but cant know, an illusional peel
breaks threw the glass even though its not there
dying to see, but reflections only seem to glare
rainbows just an illusion..but look and it passes away
life remains to go on...even past your final day
legends become real, and life becomes scripted
blind men seeing, def hearing.. not gifted?
electricity shortage, but yet the light still shines
no pulse, breaths gone, but still a working mind
time stops but the clock ticks, or is it the other way around
words spoken, but movement makes the loudest sound
hope fades and gains, a simultanous blend
life starts at the beginning, but rewind it and it ends

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..Flow..
Is all that comes to mind..
Sweet flow & structure.
Anyways on with the content.
You didnt really told a story but the array of words u used.
& must importantly how u used them, was nice.

Lines like these..
"electricity shortage, but yet the light still shines
no pulse, breaths gone, but still a working mind"

Just tell a little story..one by one..
I liked it.
A little small, but not less enjoyable..
Drop more!

this piece was coo celestial...

of few of the lines i've seen before..i mean something similar..like:



im not saying i've seen exactly the same..but similar concept wise..

however...this piece had its stand out points...



that right there is dope...different from what i've read
more consistency with the originality will
equal in extreme dopeness....

For now..just start off stronger cuz the ending was cool...
nice drop...peace

very nice...
More is coming I hope
-1

thanks for the feedback... and yea i guess ill continue on with it, or maybe a collabo with some one

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Dope...nice multis and imagry. I like how you gave the reader a sense of what you were feelin...good wordplay...nice drop man...keep it up...I look forward to reading mor of ya shit in the future

dope. very enjoyable. flow was good. words were good. topic was great.
near flawless verse. you seem good at writing. lol. keep at it.

hit this up plz
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112457

9/10

pz

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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

thanks for the feedback everyone

Me and Emerge will be doin a collabo on this... he just dont know it yet

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as i was reading this... it was on a more poetic skit to me
maybe that was just me or was that the correct scheme
which ever... i was i diggin this... keep me on beat... on focus

keep me readin it all the way thru... i was leigered... but this was a stinger... nice dunny short an prompted... good...

Caesar - On3

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~Sitting In Elevation Position~


Free
Agent

Just A Sick Newbie

Murked - Lust

Lost - None

thought the content and the wording was well places, but the transition seemed quite abrupt, not very smooth, other than that good... it just seemed like the scheme stop'd and started,,, my opinion.....