knocked out

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chorus
ill punch you in the mouth
this the final bout
everyone will hear me shout
you got knocked the fuck out
repeat1

i saw a fool muggin me
i told him what you doin see
i dont think he got the key cuz he ran and flee
i finally found him socked him in the face
ended the chase and i won the race
now he fighting back
just to punk him i slaped him with a leather strap
then i hit him back in the mouth and he knocked out
then some other guy flipped me off
now i just wanna fight
ill make him go up like a kite or make him lose his eye sight
anything i do it will envolve pain
this guy scared as if he is seeing kane
im about to throw him in the flame
but to my mind something came
just knock him out and make him go insane


chorus
ill punch you in the mouth
this the final bout
everyone will hear me shout
you got knocked the fuck out
repeat1

could anyone give feedback

Erm...Its a bit simple, you got a lot to work on, Multi's, Wordplay and jus' basically structure...good try, keep cummin'...check out 'The Critic' for me...

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Knowledge Is King

its alright, i seen betta, work on it, edit ehre add here delete here and there, u cna make it pretty good, but the way it is right now i didn't even feel like finish reading it

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mad- skillz

dun be mad cuz u lost, your just another victim



Lyod banks
"lyod banks motha fucka, with a gun and a clip/
ready to smack up all those nigga's that running there lip"

This was ok....it could have been better......it just seemed too simple......you need to add multies to this to make it more complex....your structure needs to be fixed up a bit, try evening out the lines a bit more to make it structured good and so it helps out the flow in the piece....but keep at it.