a no good delinguent wat mom-dukes-sed/while i plam-tools-wit-led accourse-u-shed a boss-who-sed-u-are ya top lutenent-in-da-box upset dug with expectin da grave/poppa 'Cryin' herd his boi caught a speshul-tray like a waitress 'Pilot'//spiten shells biolin out da cannon 'ROUnds-shout-Quiker'//disturbin da peace like a 'down-south-nigga'/ i'll deep 'coffin-ya-crew'/and leave ya dumb-chiken wit cum-drippin like a 'REatards-Drool'/truthly i gota 'loyal' blaid the way it 'Sticks-by'' threw ya 'kidney-side' shift'n-sliden nife hed first when its 'dippin-n-dive'n' to many 'dick-riders' so a fit condom would be 'provided'//i'll stop u and ya spouses cardio-vascular pounding//cuz when i choke ya bitch out in the pool i'm a leave ur hArt-'Drowning'/dump in the river where they pronounce they fount'em//tree'z i burn'em-fast-till-baked murda-mass-da-state-u-herbs-is-trash-n-fake robberies i'm lerkin-fast-wit-blaid-first-victim-snatch-n-take-perses-grab-n-wait-talk shit till them husrses-fast-at-wake my verbal-rash-on-lame so stepin to me make sure u reherse-ur-rap-okay i leave niggaz at the emergency-wit-patches-n-aids lettin the nurses-practice-on-face i aint stoppin till the dirt-casket-layed these fake niggaz gettin "exploided" when i burst-threw-they-masqarade//on top-of-it-all i'll putchya brawd on track and i aint talkin-a-song//just hoen-out-till-six-and on the street like a 'hold'n-out-kick-stand'//these niggaz aint trynna let da 'semy-pout' get stabed in ya serebelom-for-being-jelous-and letchya 'Envy-out'//and u could spit-hard-lame but fuck wit me and getchya frame broke like a jig-saw-game and as far as ya raps u-lames-notta just 'gased' like butane-bodels/

can i get some critics lol i'm sayin.......................

That shit was ill, but it was kinda hard to read. The structure could be lil betta. But overall it had nice flow. Well Done.

aightt no doubt man ...........................................

naw, im kiddn, finally a nigga w/ some skillz, besides me, ayo
go check some of my shit out

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that says enuff

uppin .................................................. ....

nice....use mulipus