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View Poll Results: Who Wrote This Topic Better?
Re$TricTed 3 37.50%
DeadlyVision 5 62.50%
Voters: 8. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 06-13-04, 04:05 PM   #1
Restricted
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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Posts: 3,774
From: Pittsburgh, PA
.::Re$tricted Vs. DeadlyVision::.(Topical)

IP:



.::Topic-Survival Of The Fittest::.

::.Rules.::
30 Linez Max
5 Votez Winz
No Crew
No Hate
No D/R Votes
Spits Due In 30 Minutes

~R~

 
Old 06-13-04, 04:09 PM   #2
Key...
You Love My Style.
 
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Hahaha..........its about time R...........topical...........yup.

Checkity Check.
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Old 06-13-04, 04:34 PM   #3
Restricted
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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Posts: 3,774
From: Pittsburgh, PA
IP:



I Strive For The Worlds Acceptance But Get Declined..
I Struggle To Survive In Life, Collect Every Nickle and Dime..
I Ask For Perservance and The Assistance Of Higher Class..
But It's Like Swallowing Glass To Stay In Middle Class..
Once A Teenage Dream, Football Star, HighsMen Trophy..
But Credit Cards, No College, The Debt Is Choking Me..
No Future It Seems For My Non-Educated Lazy Ass..
I Dipict Loyality To Those Who Have The Needs To Last..
I Fight For Food, Shelter, and The Torn Clothes On My Back..
I Don't Know Why I Live, For My Dreams Seem To Be Off Track..
My Reality Can't Be Real, These Demons Have To Be Fiction..
They Curse Me, I Do What I Must To Stay Warm, Create Friction..
Rub My Hands Together To Keep My Low-Blood Circulating..
Why The Fuck You Hating? Can't You See I'm Trying To Make It..
Low Standards? Who You Think You Are To Make Those Judgements..
I Live The Same Way You Do Just Diffrent Concepts Of Budgets..
I May Creep Threw The Streets In A Mis-Draught Form..But..
We Were All Brought Into This World From The Womb Being Born..
You Believe In Your Heart That Your Suit Makes You Better?..
You Cold-Hearted Bastard..I Don't Need Charity Fuck Ya Chedda..
I May Be At The Bottom of Bottoms and I Can't Sink Any Further..
Just Maybe I Can Suceed If I Take My Brain and Heart and Merge'm..

~R~

 
Old 06-13-04, 04:39 PM   #4
Key...
You Love My Style.
 
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IP:

Intro:

This topical is about my life & how it resambles to game of dice, I am not chasing I am Pacing to reach my destination away from face of death we just guests trying to Defend the meaning of our lives the quality of our lives that’s what matters not cash nor ice it’s the price we pay for our sins till the life line ends.

The Beginning:

Reminisce on the deceased, wondering about having peace..
Lost lives on the streets, motionless bodies on concrete..
From my first breath all my steps were already planned and known..
On this Earth I am not free to roam but confined within extremist zones..
What do you do when someone has a gun, best move is to run..
Don't defend, you'll be a lost son, we don't want to lose another one..
Brings to mind Big, Pac and Biggie, all of a sudden the fun is done..
But now our lives turned glummy, after hearing news of a fallen buddy..
It's so hard to suceed in survival, almost impossible to turn a smile..
Only the fittest survive! every ssecond of life is worth a while..
It hurts a whole damn lot, nobody helps including the cops..
This needs to stop, depressing witnessing another brother drop..
I Guess all of these crimes is stressing, terribly depressing..
Jfk Shooting, Nobody confessing, either way they were messing..
This pain needs to end quick, this shit is beginning to make me sick..
It's just un-believable like a flick, anybody can solve the trick..
You Know what is worse, that we all came from mother earth..
It seems like we were cursed, to seeing murders since birth..
What is all this worth?, just a struggle, hard to remain humble...
Our lives are ready to crumble, starting to tumble in this trouble..
Eventually I am not afraid to be freed from this evil existence..
Death doesn’t scare me, cuz paradise awaits in the distance..
So we only have memories today, of people who paved the way..
People like our close ones I'd say, only move left is to pray..
__________________


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Theresa
"Hi Key, You The Only Guy Who Took My Virginity."


Authentik Intelligence
O. Y. D.




 
Old 06-13-04, 04:44 PM   #5
BlUnT-MC
Got More Meds Than Pfizer
 
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From: ScarBorouGh
IP:

not bad dawg, ain't really into text.. 'cause i got no clue if it flows.. but shit was worded nicely.. good shit..
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Old 06-13-04, 04:45 PM   #6
Key...
You Love My Style.
 
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IP:

Thanks its my 1st Topical .................thanks for showin some love homey.


We need poll voters. Holla.
__________________


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Theresa
"Hi Key, You The Only Guy Who Took My Virginity."


Authentik Intelligence
O. Y. D.




 
Old 06-13-04, 05:03 PM   #7
Restricted
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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Posts: 3,774
From: Pittsburgh, PA
IP:

Upping For Votes...

Nice Drop Deadly..

~R~
 
Old 06-13-04, 05:04 PM   #8
Genie
New to RB
 
Posts: 24
From: England
IP:

Booya.

It's so hard to suceed in survival, almost impossible to turn a smile..
Only the fittest survive! every ssecond of life is worth a while..

^^ technically i can't explain why i like this, but damn it really provoked a though for me, which was quite rare from both writers. this sort of concept doesn't really brush with me, since 95% of writers write to it, its hard to create new angles and aspects to it. but...

Restricted- your rhyme scheme was as basic as they come, you had one word rhymes at the end of the bars and that was it; very dissapointing. you had no technically advance in your lines. your writers was quite strong though, but i wasn't really feeling your piece.

Deadly- your rhyme scheme was more complex than restricted, i know you can make it alot more complex, but even judging it on this performance it emphasized restricted lack of scheming on rhymes. poetic techniques were prominent in here; with some similies etc. nothing to to special in this area ot be honest, but nonetheless showed restricted up. your emotion that i sensed in this was what amazed me to be honest; being personal and the way you expressed that from your writers voice was brilliant! I cant' see any aspect of this battle that you didn't excede restricted in.

V/Deadlyvision
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Old 06-13-04, 05:26 PM   #9
SPuL™
Banned: Cheating
 
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Posts: 4,782
From: Bolton, MA
IP:

Yea, this in my opinion was a very tight topical battle right here.


Restricted, you had a really good verse, man. I liked your flow in this a lot. It stayed true throughout the whole verse. And it had some nice lines in this. I also agree that your rhyme scheme was a little too basic. You have in the past done much better, but this was still pretty good. Overall you had a pretty good verse, though.

DeadlyVision, you had an awesome verse. Especially since it was your first one ever. Good job, man. You had nice flow in this too. I liked a lot of your lines as well. Your rhyme scheme was also a little basic. But it was a little better than Restricted's. But really good job. Keep on doin' topicals, cuz you're good at it.

It was a tight battle, but I think DV edged R by a little.
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Old 06-13-04, 08:22 PM   #10
The Jett
Im Short.Ur Fat.He's Gay.
 
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From: Ya Eah
IP:

Restricted
I Strive For The Worlds Acceptance But Get Declined..
I Struggle To Survive In Life, Collect Every Nickle and Dime..
I Ask For Perservance and The Assistance Of Higher Class..
But It's Like Swallowing Glass To Stay In Middle Class..
Once A Teenage Dream, Football Star, HighsMen Trophy..
But Credit Cards, No College, The Debt Is Choking Me..
No Future It Seems For My Non-Educated Lazy Ass..
I Dipict Loyality To Those Who Have The Needs To Last..
like the swallowin glass...nice metiphore,good portray of struggle so far..
I Fight For Food, Shelter, and The Torn Clothes On My Back..
I Don't Know Why I Live, For My Dreams Seem To Be Off Track..
My Reality Can't Be Real, These Demons Have To Be Fiction..
They Curse Me, I Do What I Must To Stay Warm, Create Friction..
Rub My Hands Together To Keep My Low-Blood Circulating..
Why The Fuck You Hating? Can't You See I'm Trying To Make It..
Low Standards? Who You Think You Are To Make Those Judgements..
I Live The Same Way You Do Just Diffrent Concepts Of Budgets..
I May Creep Threw The Streets In A Mis-Draught Form..But..
We Were All Brought Into This World From The Womb Being Born..
I like 'd the concept's budget's bar, got a lil carried away wit the blood ciculatin tho...not science class bro...
You Believe In Your Heart That Your Suit Makes You Better?..
You Cold-Hearted Bastard..I Don't Need Charity Fuck Ya Chedda..
I May Be At The Bottom of Bottoms and I Can't Sink Any Further..
Just Maybe I Can Suceed If I Take My Brain and Heart and Merge'm..
Nice closing bars.....left on a up'note wit good multi's......

Overall- I like'd it, You started strong an finished strong. A lil shaky in the middle but overall it wasnt a bad topical.....stayed on topic...nice

Deadly
Reminisce on the deceased, wondering about having peace..
Lost lives on the streets, motionless bodies on concrete..
From my first breath all my steps were already planned and known..
On this Earth I am not free to roam but confined within extremist zones..
What do you do when someone has a gun, best move is to run..
Don't defend, you'll be a lost son, we don't want to lose another one..
Brings to mind Big, Pac and Biggie, all of a sudden the fun is done..
lil off topic....your struggle's turned into Biggie-n-2Pac's
But now our lives turned glummy, after hearing news of a fallen buddy..
It's so hard to suceed in survival, almost impossible to turn a smile..
Only the fittest survive! every ssecond of life is worth a while..
It hurts a whole damn lot, nobody helps including the cops..
This needs to stop, depressing witnessing another brother drop..
I like this last line..the other's flwo kinda threw me off, the multi's an all
I Guess all of these crimes is stressing, terribly depressing..
Jfk Shooting, Nobody confessing, either way they were messing..
This pain needs to end quick, this shit is beginning to make me sick..
It's just un-believable like a flick, anybody can solve the trick..
You Know what is worse, that we all came from mother earth..
It seems like we were cursed, to seeing murders since birth..
why u talkin bout JFK?chill wit the multi's
What is all this worth?, just a struggle, hard to remain humble...
Our lives are ready to crumble, starting to tumble in this trouble..
Eventually I am not afraid to be freed from this evil existence..
Death doesn’t scare me, cuz paradise awaits in the distance..
So we only have memories today, of people who paved the way..
People like our close ones I'd say, only move left is to pray..
Good closing...the multi's were alot better here. More flow. Nice close

Overall I'd say a tad sub-par. You had a few good moments, but alot was off topic an your multi's hurt your flo. Ok verse, nothing special tho....

VOTE- Restricted
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Old 06-13-04, 10:15 PM   #11
PoLiFicK
..Intelligent Hoodlum..
 
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Posts: 1,669
From: bedrock
IP:

ok dis was a nice battle both on topic deadly i like the intro and da splits so it was nice re$tricted nice hammy dowmn drop feelin it both emcess had it goin nicely

R-

start-I Strive For The Worlds Acceptance But Get Declined..
I Struggle To Survive In Life, Collect Every Nickle and Dime..

nicely done 9.4/10

deadly

start-This topical is about my life & how it resambles to game of dice, I am not chasing I am Pacing to reach my destination away from face of death we just guests trying to Defend the meaning of our lives the quality of our lives that’s what matters not cash nor ice it’s the price we pay for our sins till the life line ends.

nice^^^ lol long but nice 9.7/10

R

bestline-Once A Teenage Dream, Football Star, HighsMen Trophy..
But Credit Cards, No College, The Debt Is Choking Me..

dat shit was tite
10/10

deadly

I Guess all of these crimes is stressing, terribly depressing..
Jfk Shooting, Nobody confessing, either way they were messing..

nice vocab 9.5/10

helped up verse

R-
Low Standards? Who You Think You Are To Make Those Judgements..
I Live The Same Way You Do Just Diffrent Concepts Of Budgets..

made a impact helped yo verse stand out 9.6/10

deadly-This pain needs to end quick, this shit is beginning to make me sick..
It's just un-believable like a flick, anybody can solve the trick..


^^ nice 9.4/10 also yo vocab stood out

closer

R_
I May Be At The Bottom of Bottoms and I Can't Sink Any Further..
Just Maybe I Can Suceed If I Take My Brain and Heart and Merge'm..
9.6/10 swrap up nicely

deadly

So we only have memories today, of people who paved the way..
People like our close ones I'd say, only move left is to pray..

vocab slipped but nice 9.6/10

overall

flow-R
vocab-deadly
structure-both
multis-both
meta-both
consitant-R
beginning-Deadly
closer-R
winner-R
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Old 06-13-04, 10:40 PM   #12
Key...
You Love My Style.
 
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Posts: 4,598
IP:

2 fam votes?^^

Is that allowed?
__________________


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Theresa
"Hi Key, You The Only Guy Who Took My Virginity."


Authentik Intelligence
O. Y. D.




 
Old 06-13-04, 10:44 PM   #13
L.I.
Miss Me?
 
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IP:

Restricted - good drop...flow was decent...choppy in spots but worked...vocab def was strong part of your verse....good concepts...i liked this bar alot...
Low Standards? Who You Think You Are To Make Those Judgements..
I Live The Same Way You Do Just Diffrent Concepts Of Budgets..
complex concept of your spit and stayed on topic in a basic yet creative way....good drop...give it a 8.9/10...

DV - nice drop for ur first ever topical...very nice flow...topped R's....he got you on the vocab....but u still had a nice concept....u had a good history background brought into yours which was crative...bit of a storyline which made it nice...both of yall had nice drops....

Well both drops were nice...but complexity went to dv...he had more creative concepts....and he took it with all the shit he had in there...surprised me....good drops...Vote - DV....
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Old 06-13-04, 10:48 PM   #14
Restricted
DaTrus Is A Bitch!
 
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Posts: 3,774
From: Pittsburgh, PA
IP:

Yo Kid They Ain't Family Votes...Ain't In MT....

Plus LI's Won't Count Due To Beef LI and Myself Have With Each Other...I Have The Convos If You'd Like To See Them

~R~
 
Old 06-13-04, 10:52 PM   #15
Key...
You Love My Style.
 
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Posts: 4,598
IP:

But u voted on Genie Vs L.I. isnt he allowed to have his own Oppinion. And If L.I's dont count Pro was in yo crew MT actually u recruited em..lol Carson is an audio cat. Also in MT so what does that make?

lol
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Theresa
"Hi Key, You The Only Guy Who Took My Virginity."


Authentik Intelligence
O. Y. D.




 
 


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