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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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06-27-04, 01:15 PM
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#1
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Banned: Spamming
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Drunk Driver
IP:
This was a topical league verse but my opponent didnt show, I didnt think i did a great verse but here it is......critique and teach me
 Drunk Driver Drop the glass & hit another shot, feeling like no one can harm me, Just drunk myself enough courage, to put brave a cowardly army. Leaving the bar with horrid intentions, not to mention draconic, Gun in my pocket, desiring to put bullets in that bitches sockets. No need for logic or wisdom, that bitch broke my heart, Im ending the relationship of my dreams, while she is about to start. She wants to part, she found someone else, ill be left here by myself, A personal trainer called Pablo, set in matrimony for July twelfth. We had a catholic union, and whore adultery is a sin, But you don’t care that im fucking anguished when your fucking him. I met this Pablo, a dirty Spaniard; he is just like me but a rip off, And we will see if his sex is better, when I cut his freakin dick off. Approaching the car, frustrated and raged as I insert in the keyhole, Riddled with the stench of booze, so wasted that my brain feels feeble. 45 Chevy no equal, fast vehicle and any road it can maintain, im going off the point a bit now, and the road, shit I’m in the wrong lane. Back on track, the fact is Lucy I loved you and that’s gospel truth, The kids we raised and home we made surely is enough proof. at least we be…what the fuck, there is a police car in my mirror, Signalling he wants me to pull over as he flicks his lights dimmer. Awaiting for him to approach, but there’s something that is strange, The way he is swerving back and forth between the inner and outer lane. Now hitting about 70, there’s plenty of room for me run, But I froze in the road, my flesh about to meet metal in the form of tun. Fuck, my plans are ruined, this drunkard is gonna take my life, All I wanted was to do is this, but slower to my ex wife. See the embarrassment wasn’t the agony, this was the tip of the iceberg, That I adored the beauty of a woman, but didn’t even like her. What you need to feel, is what its like to have your heart tore, And a punch for every dam time, that you made my eyes pour. |
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06-27-04, 01:20 PM
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#2
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Banned: Cheating
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IP:
i liked it it brings topicals bring out tru song writen talent ya feel me nice drop man fa real i liked it holla at ya fat boy
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06-27-04, 02:19 PM
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#3
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retired.
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IP:
Pretty decent. The only problem I had was that the flow was off at spots... the first couple lines... and then this:
"I met this Pablo, a dirty Spaniard; he is just like me but a rip off, And we will see if his sex is better, when I cut his freakin dick off." Not to mention that the vocab use here kinda kills it. However, it was much better towards the end. I guess work on your vocab and your flow a bit, and keep dropping.
__________________
RIP SMOKAJOKA WE WILL MiSS YOU!!!!!!
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06-27-04, 03:20 PM
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#4
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Middle Weight
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IP:
this was nice kid but it ties in with this completely
WHAT HAPPENED TO DMX JUNE 26? Above the rim vexed like DMX cash in hand smash van At Kennedy Airport steal cars this reveal scars from the hood understand Go with lame impression after cocaine possession need a plan Charges several flagrant after impersonation of a federal agent Police with facts discreet found in the backseat a Billy Club Cop yelled “Silly Thug” are you a Rodney King dud?” DMX said “well can we just get along? I’m not a scrub” He was wearing a dew rag black holding a bag of crack Had a gun and that’s bad fun JACKIE HUDGINS Don’t Believe in tacky thugging both cats got me bugging He’ll need support in court on July twenty third his crew fly With plenty words |
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06-27-04, 05:12 PM
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#5
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IP:
It was pretty good it has nice context and stuff and It was aight
to be considered a Topic, I kindof liked it alot
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 DOPER THEN DOPE |
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