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07-19-04, 05:11 PM | #1 | ||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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Am i Forgiven?
IP:
Sometimes I forget what the light looks like when I'm clouded by shadows of my indecencies, the past, by the things that i have done and seen.....
Am i forgiven? It is hard to tell in the dark with my mind, a candle, and no match, I could step out and follow my own direction but i hear 2 voices that whisper in my mind, is this the guiding light i so desperately seek to find?..... Am i forgiven? It is hard to tell, when i cannot decipher this or that, what is what and who is true...then i hear a second voice....step out and smile cuz it's you...... ***written about the love of my life*** For helping me through rough times
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* Last edited by fluidmoon : 07-19-04 at 05:14 PM. Reason: left somethings out |
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07-20-04, 12:38 AM | #2 | |
New to RB
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IP:
I really liked it. There was no actual structure, but you knew when each "stanza" was over. The imagery in it was really good. I loved the part about the second voice.. Keep it up man.
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I'll wait for you there where the sun doesn't shine Wait for you there where the shadows run from themselves |
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07-20-04, 12:59 AM | #3 | ||
New to RB
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u aint..
IP:
u aint forgiven lol
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07-20-04, 12:30 PM | #4 | |
Light Weight
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IP:
ya...really feelin that piece...had good imagery and good emotion...like he said no structure but it worked with out it..keep that coming...peace
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