http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=155807

..So like side orders after seconds, yall will get slaw third... cuz like *Arty Fish all In Tell A Gents* i got heads *imagining they were speaking to themselves underwater*..punches rattle throats..so like *Pat Three Ark All Re Lay shun ships* i got heads *hitting their backs in sets of three hoping they will get layed by battle boats*!

..Like 'fat people in faulty swing sets' you 'drop fast' when i pop ass and shame brothers cause saving you is "un-faith-umm-able/unfathomable" like "athiests trying to remember the name of cains brother**

..You break teeth from biting so and you can't get no peace when fighting cause i got "air-oh-dyn-hammocks/aerodynamics" like "kobe having sex in flying hanging sleeping items**

..You kids are bitter, when I spit bars that are quick like sprinters.. cause I pose more *word-play* than *a game of scrabble with chinese people in egyptian rivers**


there ....another hot piece.....leave feeeddd

hmmm,not bad i feel ya style but not ya structure .....
its hard to follow at times.....but i don't consider you a noob..lol
add multi's n tone the explanations down a bit..i bet half the
peeps that read this don't even understand it...nice drop....
but ya style still needs work in my eyes dawg...

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i'll play on ya consience, ya contents is complete nonsense
speak of biting, then you fucks flip everyone of my damn concepts
what the fuck, was you high..?
did you think i wouldn't recognize lines that i made
then you come up some bullshit tryna prove that im gay...!
.
.
fake fucks..move on...!

its not explaining its part of the bar....its a simile .....

uppin

upppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppiiiiiiinnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnn

I found that hard to follow and it lacked structure. Pretty weak i'm gonna have to give it 2 stars but who knows maybe it will sound dope in audio. Keep it coming No man is born without potential! I think you will only get better just try to write about something personal to you or something people can relate to but keep it in good taste. Actually I read it over & I guess i'll give you a 3 star for it's creativity that was actually aiight. Just it's hard to rate because I might sing it to a different tune than you. Remember your toughest critic is you so if you dig it than it's all good baby baby!! Even if you is a fat phony! jk Jay Z & Biggie smalls nigga shit yo drawls

aight i know i just keyed that piece in like 2 min....its like my worst drop since....but thanks for the feed.....

lol at 2 mins........

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Guess who?...

...Paramik Fuckin'...

...Owns You!

It was aight....i wouldnt say you were a master...But some good ones...overall just work on your structure..cuz it was kinda of hard to read...peace...

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fix your fuckin structure...and than i will read that

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Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.

"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox

The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew