You tell me you love me
and my heart wants to believe
But in the back of my mind I cant stop thinking of how you deceived
me.
I was the one there for you thru thick and thin
and like a fool i stayed with you
even when you put your fist to my chin.

You tell me you love me
and the words sound so true
But when i saw you with another girl!
I went crazy, i didnt know what to do
When noone else would, I had ya back
I couldnt believe that you would play me like that

In my mind, i thought
what am i doin!
I gave my heart and soul to you
and now you out screwin!

You tell me you love me
Im smarter now
I can see you dont love me
that other girl is havin ya child.
But never again will be the fool
to believe it when a man says:
I Love You.

hey diz was off da chain, real meaingful an ya stayed right on point, really feelin the emotion an awww, i love you, feel better now? *wink wink*

Good:Emotion.
Bad:Inconsistency of lines and rhymes.
Decent:Vocab.
Altogether it was okay at best, but keep it up.

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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp)
n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment.
^Don't forget the white man^
Poetic Scriptures poems:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462

hmm, i liked this poem, it was very simple, but to the point, maybe you can try to just let go more,and let out the deeper feelings,dont hold back, but keep writing, and it will flow out better......1

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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

O Y D

*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*