About to succumb to the stress of life to hard to handle ,leave works undone die make the chaos of life scramble/

a mercenary out to kill my self with the illusion im the enemy ,the corrupted side in-a-me is saying "a brick wall" keep cruising dont be afraid to lose it /

i almost blew it, crossed the line twice, getting two steps from the edge about to meet jesus christ/

this aint suicide its the answer i am riddled bowed down to drinkin cancer by the gallons ,without fear i may die ,leave my family with questions that can only be answered with why/

pressure disrupting services enough gas to bust your nervousness/

i wanna leave this place hide in the dark away from the pervertedness/

within me the world is a perfect storm/

im the odd facing the norm/ this is the way of life, forget it,

ill die in the swarm/

uppin

uppin

lil short gud tho but scheme was a bit hard 2 read but keep it up drop us wot ya think on http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=15629

thx uppin

uppin

uppin

Man, i dunno why ya gettin so slept on, i honestly didnt think this was bad at all...

Sum Signs of talent which just need to be nurtured really...

try to lay it out so its easier to follow though man, ya know...might make more people reply...

And also try replying to a few utha open mics!!...

take care man, keep on postin...

peace n god bless

man that pretty was ill, i liked it. It was a bit short but it was pretty ill. Good topic to do it on, keep postin more dawg.
Take it easy man.

Peace

thx yo

uppin

Yeh I thought this was iLL man, nice concept, nice rhythm, thought a coupla lines were off key and it was a bit short, but yeh im feeling this... The concept was understandable, you bought over a depth and some slight imagery, work on more metaphors and you will get more imagery and vividness across... The vocab was aight, seemed balanced sometimes, some knowledge words could be used though... The rhythm was something that caught my eye, it was clean, multies and internals shown and easily read, keep dropping man, make this into something a bit more interesting to read, drop a story or something... It was a decent and solid drop and look forward to seeing more of ya work... Keep elevating and spitting...

Peez...

thx yo i got a long one coming

uppin

uppin