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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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10-26-04, 12:10 AM
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#1
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New to RV
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First Love
IP:
First Love Every time my eyes were set upon her, they swelled with emotion I would daily watch her , too nervous to make a single motion She was my one true love, though, regretfully, it was not mutual She hardly knew I even existed, and regarded me as fictional For what could I do, but sit idley by and watch her experience things For she was a high-level cheerleader, and I was no high school king So I kept with the charade, like there was nothing there to behold I would ask her out, but I fear the reprocussions that action might hold Beaten to a bloody pulp by her boyfriend, or, worse yet, laughed in the face I was full of shame from my flagrant cowardice, I simply was a disgrace Life was waiting at the train stop, but by now, was too far away My chance had been shot, I had lost the opportunity for a perfect day One in which my love had agreed to a relationship, and fulfilled my dreams But, rue the day, I am again alone, with nought but a computer screen I am filled with everlasting sorrow, and brimming with pain-filled regret Every day I keep up the fascade of happiness, unfortunately I am successfull For every day I long for my silent cries to be heard, so I turn to textual I must express my feelings somehow, this way seems the most effective Because there is no face to laugh at me, I will be a coward as long as I live I cannot step up to the plate, it is booming before me, yet guarded My own mind is keeping me from happiness, my emotions are getting charred As long as I know life, I shall know regret, pain, anxiety, and depression For my love is held mockingly before me, smiles turn to frowns in succession So heed my call, do not be like me, go out and enjoy your only life Do not let my sorrow drag you to my level, it is merely a fool's strife
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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp) n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment. ^Don't forget the white man^ Poetic Scriptures poems: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462 |
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10-26-04, 03:00 PM
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#2
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP:
This was a great drop, nice vocabulary and emotion in this piece, i liked the flow of this as well, keep them coming......1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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10-26-04, 06:29 PM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP:
Thank you for the feedback. I will probably post another tonight.
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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp) n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment. ^Don't forget the white man^ Poetic Scriptures poems: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462 |
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10-28-04, 01:38 AM
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#4
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New to RV
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IP:
Upping for more feedback.
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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp) n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment. ^Don't forget the white man^ Poetic Scriptures poems: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462 |
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