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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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07-05-02, 03:02 AM
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#1
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Guest
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..............sum shyt
IP:
when i hit this blunt thoughts come to the mind// why do i gotta live this life? why do i gotta stay on the grind?//shits fucked up thats what i coped to find// im only 15 but im not blind// livin in a world full of sin juss tryin to shine// i wish the best for my people but somehow we're always behind// terroist attack and crooked government// this shit cant be right? this shit aint heaven sent// nowa days mary janes (weed) my best friend// why am i here? why me ? what can you see ? another nigga what am i supposed to be?// growin up in an environment of thugs drugs and slugs// no love no hugs // can u not see me im gettin walked on like rugs//The american dream man fuck that shit// how am i gonna get there stuck in the system livin in the pits//fucked up schools fucked up teachers fucked up environment//man fuck the world yall motherfuckers got me bent//whats the world tryna hide dark like a tint// gods my only resort he gives me the strength// bcuz me and the world arent ment
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07-05-02, 03:15 AM
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#2
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Guest
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IP:
Deep shit kid. I t was pretty good for sum shyt! Keep spittin...~1~
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07-05-02, 03:34 AM
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#3
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Guest
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IP:
TIGHT NO DOUBT IS YOU A MANITO OR MANITA
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07-05-02, 03:55 AM
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#4
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Guest
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IP:
i guess a monito if tha means guy
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07-05-02, 04:45 AM
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#5
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Guest
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IP:
YEAH IT DOES IF YOU WANT HIT ME FOR A COLLAB
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07-05-02, 04:52 AM
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#6
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Guest
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IP:
ight thats kool
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07-05-02, 05:00 AM
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#7
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Guest
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IP:
HIT ME WHEN YOU READY
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07-05-02, 05:07 AM
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#8
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Guest
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IP:
fa sho ~1~
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07-05-02, 07:05 AM
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#9
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Guest
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IP:
word up dawg, i wuz feelin u on this one fo sho....
a dope verse, maybe work on switchin up complexity of rhymes a bit, but overall this is dopeness |
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07-05-02, 10:40 AM
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#10
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Guest
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IP:
deep.. nice.., but work up on complexity and rhyme scheme flow. but otherwise true deal, dirty.
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07-05-02, 12:23 PM
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#11
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Guest
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IP:
I liked the power in the flow, had some good meaningful lines and ya showed how ya felt it was real... The rhyme scheme was simplistic, but ya used multies and some internals, not bad rhythm, noticed some parts were choppy though... The wordplay was aight, here and there, more metaphors woulda put more depth in this, and you should try explore that... Vocab was working sometimes, liked the strong words put across and that helped with bytes of imagery, but I didnt like the "Fucc this, fucc that"... Thought it was a bit overdone... Otherwise a decent and solid spit, good subject matter... Keep spitting and elevating...
Peez... |
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07-06-02, 06:18 AM
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#12
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.Tha Open Mic King.
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IP:
This aint actually too bad man...
I Quite liked tha flow, it was smooth all tha way through... It Impressed me to be honest... Imagery was lucid too.. Keep up tha good work man.. Keep on postin Take care Peace n god bless |
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