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Old 11-16-04, 06:51 PM   #1
..ADLIB..
Better than you..
 
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Posts: 864
From: Down Under
Misunderstood

IP:

I just graduated school and i wrote this open mic in light of my experience there.

...Verse 1...
tense. facin a cold world...dreams to conquer it
show em who wanna mould me...cage my spirit
optimistimism makes me strong strugglin not to let go
fightin stereotypical views not lettin it show
instead i let the anger grow, burn in me until i explode
steady searchin for conclusions...try to decypher the code
you consistently misunderstood me from an early age
could never speak the words im writing on this page
always stayed true to myself you'd be amazed
facin adversaries eyes glazed full of disgrace
fucked me over why? they got sick of me giving up on me
its such a mystery how we deal with theyre trickery

...(Chorus)...
say what u want i dont give a fuck about u
its painfull to live in my shoes with no clues
on where im going what im living for, im serious
when i say yo i gotta be the best at this
and embrace this hip hop shit yo. savour the beats
im down for the hussle, gotta make ends meet
i got nothin much yo so i got less to lose
the systems abused abstrakt minds lose to societys views

...Verse 2...
hear what im sayin, studyin school curiculum sends me insane
forced to fit the frame. and a 9-5 job workin hard for no gain (fuck that)
how can i excell at something i hate? wheres the hope?
wheres the passion huh? there goes another… to beer n dope
im dirty. they wiped there hands clean of me years ago
had a bright mind once smiled way back...now i smoke kilos
u took from me. dignity, pride you put a slant in my stance
a young man turnin corrupt feelin dealt the wrong hand
but time slips slowly by i wont waste a minute
with intricate thought patterns and potential thats infinate
i wanna payback what saved me...maybe find whats really in my mind
i feel like a sun behind thick clouds i wish i could shine.

...(Chorus)...
say what u want i dont give a fuck about u
its painfull to live in my shoes with no clues
on where im going what im living for, im serious
when i say yo i gotta be the best at this
and embrace this hip hop shit yo. savour the beats
im down for the hussle, gotta make ends meet
i got nothin much yo so i got less to lose
the systems abused abstrakt minds lose to societys views
__________________
..ADLIB..



Spit it from the heart, spit a thousand darts, split ya head apart…
Emcees depart, like rubin carter my hurricane left u scarred…
Like a spiked bat grammatical bar, like a wonderland drug…
Tumble - ing like a flagon of rum and 2 blunts, like the funk baby…

Last edited by Trauma : 11-17-04 at 03:04 AM.
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Old 11-16-04, 07:37 PM   #2
DrasticMeasureZ
mess with me get cooked
 
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Posts: 540
From: some-where
IP:

O Aiiiiiiiight Good Flow Nice Imagination

Vocab Was Good

But Put More Feeling Into It

8/10 Work On Dem Feelings

Put An Open Mic Feedback In

"an Important Letter"

..............please Word
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THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wreckage
Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.


SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM
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Old 11-17-04, 01:40 AM   #3
Terumoto
I have a lot to learn...
 
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Posts: 9,740
From: Life.
IP:

Dope... I thought there WAS feeling... It shone in verse 2...

Vocabulary was good, chorus and both verses were imaginative...

Content was relevant, and well thought out/written..

Flow was a little off in some points but pretty much kept on the whole time..

I was feelin this... nice shit....
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Old 11-17-04, 01:51 AM   #4
La Cosa Nostra
Bangs like bikini attol
 
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From: Gaza Strip
IP:

Very nice bro.
Kepted me interested all through it n shit which is what a lot of other cunts lack when they make OM's.

Good vocab n pretty good flow.
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Old 11-17-04, 06:29 AM   #5
Mad Dog
...Belong...
 
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From: Crawley, England
IP:

This was a dope open mic the imagery in this was outstanding the flow and structure was cool nicely done the rhyming as well was real smart and well used nice complexity too the story as well was impressive i'd give this a 7.5/10 good job on this keep droppin kikko < as SevenThird would say lol
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Quote:
Originally Posted by High Dro
furthermore, june 3rd is the only good day to be born

^ Amen Brother ^

Quote:
Originally Posted by ∆ P E X X
i'm still tryin to figure out how bein born in another country makes somebody fake.

R.I.P OMB

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Old 11-17-04, 08:13 AM   #6
Hangar1ne
New to RB
 
Posts: 32
From: Within my abstraction
IP:

that was a nice drop, i like the concept, you told a story and it worked, you stayed on point .....but if you're so big on complexity than make it more complex.....there is no rhyme scheme......its straight up not really makin me think.......looks like you've had alot of trauma in your life.........
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Old 11-17-04, 07:08 PM   #7
..ADLIB..
Better than you..
 
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Posts: 864
From: Down Under
IP:

uppin.............
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..ADLIB..



Spit it from the heart, spit a thousand darts, split ya head apart…
Emcees depart, like rubin carter my hurricane left u scarred…
Like a spiked bat grammatical bar, like a wonderland drug…
Tumble - ing like a flagon of rum and 2 blunts, like the funk baby…
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Old 11-19-04, 12:55 AM   #8
..ADLIB..
Better than you..
 
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Posts: 864
From: Down Under
IP:

uppinnnn this for some straight feedback.
__________________
..ADLIB..



Spit it from the heart, spit a thousand darts, split ya head apart…
Emcees depart, like rubin carter my hurricane left u scarred…
Like a spiked bat grammatical bar, like a wonderland drug…
Tumble - ing like a flagon of rum and 2 blunts, like the funk baby…
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Old 11-30-04, 09:56 AM   #9
..ADLIB..
Better than you..
 
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Posts: 864
From: Down Under
IP:

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^
__________________
..ADLIB..



Spit it from the heart, spit a thousand darts, split ya head apart…
Emcees depart, like rubin carter my hurricane left u scarred…
Like a spiked bat grammatical bar, like a wonderland drug…
Tumble - ing like a flagon of rum and 2 blunts, like the funk baby…
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Old 11-30-04, 10:06 AM   #10
jr freeze
freeze
 
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Posts: 1
IP:

yea fam this was a hot drop i liked the flow it went good wit this peice.....8/10...keep droppin those sick concept open mic's.....1
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Old 11-30-04, 10:25 AM   #11
Loveliss Grandz
***cITYSLICka***
 
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Posts: 521
From: BrOOklyN,N.Y.
IP:

this drop was very interesting.stayed on point and flowed real good.

i feel like a sun behind thick clouds i wish i could shine.

^^that was my favorite line.
8/10...keep em comin'
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I'm like CHUCKy dyin' to live in the flesh free of the BATTERY,
ASSAULT n ROBBERY rapidly,wishin' cupid would clap at me
N lift this evil spell so I can experience happilly evil backwards-see(down there)
EVIL............backwards =............LIVE
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