http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=164646

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=164640

i push sacks like goin cross desert on tha dali lama
run the deserst cuz there the cops cant stop ya

push 40 oz in weeks at a time too expensive shit to sell nickels and dimes
let alone 20s dont even go there dont sell to suspicous peeps like poachers

not a drug dealin poser sell for the meaning of life
its not a privilage its my right to set on the corner late times of the night

tinted windows rollin down for me to get dropped ha
big tited niggas tryin to pop ya

im not bout to go ma ass is still in tha game and im still hot
im like the energizer bunny of sellin the hydroponic pot

really up your vocab..weak rhymes....alright for a learner

Yea u need to work on ya structure as well as the rhymes.
U got the idea though and i think if u keep practicin, u'll be jus fine
Keep it up yo

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uppin for replys here phat don is one i wrote a while back