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Old 12-10-04, 04:56 PM   #1
Young Mix
New to RV
 
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Posts: 10
From: Da Nati
Freestyle

IP:

Yo yo yo yo yo

Im next to be dat so called best emcee
dat leave da rest of dese emcees in West Indies
lettin dese emcees rest in peace
cause in West Indies, they say Im da best indeed
Im tired of dese fake niggas askin for a lesson please
but den change dey mind right before dat weapon squeeze
Dey sweatin cheese cause dey chedda weighs less than me
and dey some punks, cause all they do is step and leave
So basically,before ya start mistaken me
Im only here to eliminate fakes to be
Face it B, you'se just a fake emcee
ya label'll fire ya and you get replaced wit me

Young mix
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Old 12-10-04, 05:28 PM   #2
Young Mix
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Posts: 10
From: Da Nati
IP:

Ayo I need dat feedback man
If ya do, Ill try to return da favor

Young mix
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Old 12-10-04, 05:32 PM   #3
OptiKaL
Flyweight
 
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Posts: 138
From: da' 9One6
IP:

aiyo it waz iight for a freestyle but u kinda kept using the same words
but decent drop....peep my freestyle is called bored...one
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Old 12-10-04, 06:00 PM   #4
Young Mix
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Posts: 10
From: Da Nati
IP:

Ayo thanx Optikal
I need more feedback/uppppiiiiinnnnnnnn

Young mix
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Old 12-10-04, 06:44 PM   #5
Ysdat
Whys That?
 
Posts: 2,007
IP:

ok, this isnt good. What I mean by that is your thrying to push the slang to much.It's a text peice,text slang is wak. Try writing shit correctly with proper grammar,blaH.

you have some multi's in it,but they are not the best and seem forced in place's.
overall you need to make yoru whole peice longer, find a better topic. put more heart into it.
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Old 12-11-04, 11:51 AM   #6
Young Mix
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Posts: 10
From: Da Nati
IP:

Aight then
more feedback
uuuuuupppppiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn

Young mix
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Old 12-11-04, 12:31 PM   #7
Young Mix
New to RV
 
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Posts: 10
From: Da Nati
IP:

uuuuuuuuppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn

Young Mix
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Old 12-11-04, 12:37 PM   #8
Young Mix
New to RV
 
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Posts: 10
From: Da Nati
IP:

I wont hurt ya
just gimme more feedback

Young Mix
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Old 12-11-04, 01:11 PM   #9
Die Hard
cold cold, keep shaking
 
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Posts: 521
From: California
IP:

Young... accept my battle and drop your verse...
That freestyle was alrite.,...
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Old 12-11-04, 05:45 PM   #10
Young Mix
New to RV
 
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Posts: 10
From: Da Nati
IP:

More feedback on dis shit
uuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiin nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Young Mix
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Old 12-11-04, 06:11 PM   #11
Young Mix
New to RV
 
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Posts: 10
From: Da Nati
IP:

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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Old 12-13-04, 04:25 PM   #12
Young Mix
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Posts: 10
From: Da Nati
IP:

Ayo,gimme feedback on dis shit
I need feedback

Young Mix
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