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Old 12-13-04, 10:46 PM   #1
.LeFt.
.L.B.S. PUSHER.
 
Posts: 434
...guilt inside...

IP:

for somereaosn im feelin guilty of myself even thou i just turned the age of 12// my heart has undaneath this G as something keeps on building up inside of me//I would tell her i do n truly do care but i cant cuz i dont wanna see her form head to toe just to see my last n final faint of her sayin no....//Compared to me or u,id pick u cuz ur my sky n my son n finally realized ur my only one//
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Old 12-14-04, 01:08 PM   #2
fluidmoon
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For a twelve year old, this was good, watch yuor spelling and structure, so its easier to read, but your words were sweet...keep droppin..1
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Old 12-14-04, 01:57 PM   #3
Lil C
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^^agree's w/ fluid dis was a GOOD drop for a 12 year old, n yea watch ur structure n wat not nice words n ect
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Old 12-14-04, 04:44 PM   #4
Crossword
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Definantly work on your structure... Dont use the crappy newb rap battler stucture with the //'s.... And watch the spelling, i'm pretty sure you meant to say 'sun' and not 'son' cause....thats just weird


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Old 12-16-04, 09:49 PM   #5
.LeFt.
.L.B.S. PUSHER.
 
Posts: 434
iight

IP:

iight sure ill keep those in mind also.. n yea thanks for the props for this one...
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