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Old 12-16-04, 10:36 AM   #1
Mix & Match
Tight.
 
Posts: 2
Insect to Society

IP:

An insect to society I woke up one morning,
I lay awake in my bed wondering why being different was on the wing
I was borderline of societies worst, I was of no use to the world
I flipped on the news, “Another man mysteriously murdered”... my head twirled.
…..
I littered and I spat on the ground with distaste
I was late for my job, and quickly made haste
Than I thought to my self “fuck it, it’s over” I have nothing to live for
If I’m living to die my fate is my own, I felt like I prisoner of war
Trapped, with no route to escape, I worked hard and never was late
I went to school for 20 years and I never made a mistake
But now I realised if I’m leaving soon than I might as well make well of my time
…..

So I sat back and kicked up my feet,
Turned off the T.V. and proceeded to eat
My milk was sour and my lettuce was rotting
Like myself, I could tell it was clotting
My Mind made up, not enough blood pumping
I could see that I was metaphorically jumping

…..
I knew money wasn’t in the game for me
So I decided, find my own way to be ‘lite
I thought and mustered my brains knowledge
Short of thinking, as I was failing college
I didn’t have the brains to come out on top
So I looked for rewind
And my life stopped.
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Old 12-19-04, 06:17 PM   #3
Abraxas
Bonecrushing Nigga
 
Posts: 5,838
From: 305
IP:



just to tell ya... we dont do that....
mainly cos theres no mods in open mic and the newbs trash the place with open mics with leaving feedback on any shit...

...and your openmic.. it was pretty good.... ya flow was really good...... the title you gave it was very good.....and it matched ya verse
__________________
Guess who?...



...Paramik Fuckin'...


...Owns You!


||RVS Text Champion||
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Old 12-16-04, 04:59 PM   #4
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Posts: 2
IP:

uppin this up up and away.
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Old 12-16-04, 05:02 PM   #5
TranquilSerenity
Intricate.Minded
 
IP:

This Was A Good Piece, Nice Imagery & Story, You Need To Improve Yo Vocabulary Though, You Have a Good Story Telling Style, Which Get's Your Message Across Good.
Your Structure Was On Point, But Yo Flow Fell Off A Few Time's, Which Is OK.
Btw You Wanna Do A Collabo?
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Old 12-16-04, 05:18 PM   #6
Mix & Match
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Posts: 2
IP:

Thanks for your feedback, why is your name all blurred? Dont' you want people to know who you are?

And yes I wouldn't mind doing a collab.

Aim=givenlyricalight
Msn=AaronThangarasu@hotmail.com

Last edited by Given Light : 12-16-04 at 05:40 PM.
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Old 12-16-04, 05:21 PM   #7
TranquilSerenity
Intricate.Minded
 
IP:

I Got A Name Wave, Have You Gotta Alias? Mine Is Conclusion, So, Yeah I'll Get At You.
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Old 12-16-04, 05:39 PM   #8
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Given Light off rb LoL *says in hushed voice*
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Old 12-17-04, 03:29 PM   #9
Mix & Match
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IP:

could I get some more feedback?
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Old 12-18-04, 10:52 AM   #10
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Posts: 2
IP:

I will respond, to your om's or anything, if you leave some feedback.
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Old 12-19-04, 12:27 PM   #11
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upping this topical.
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Old 12-19-04, 05:56 PM   #12
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uppin for some feedback.
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Old 12-19-04, 09:45 PM   #13
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^so no leaving links eh? Well that's retarded....
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Old 12-20-04, 12:48 PM   #14
Mix & Match
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Posts: 2
IP:

uppppppppppin this
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Old 12-20-04, 10:02 PM   #15
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Posts: 2
IP:

upping this buisness nahmsayin?
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