RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases > Poetic Scriptures
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-08-05, 11:03 PM   #1
Dabatos
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
 
Dabatos's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,693
From: Bay Area
Needed Courage

IP:



Needed Courage

My one chance to talk to you,
Face to face,
My one chance to have our first real slow glance,
My one chance to see your amazing smile that I barely get to see,
My one chance to show you my true feelings,
But that one chance, I never took,
I have all these feelings building up inside,
Ready to burst out,
But Im just too afraid.

What am I afraid of?
I'm afraid to loose this friendship we have,
I'm afraid that you will never speak to me again,
I'm afraid that I won't able to see those angel eyes,
But what I'm mostly afraid of,
Is your reaction, your responce,
Rejection.

I just wish that I can build up this courage,
The courage that will take away my fear's,
Because not knowing how you feel,
Is ripping me up inside,
Even though rejection will hurt even more then now,
Atleast I would not live with regret thinking
Maybe there was a chance,
All I need is courage,
I seem to not beable to find courage anywhere,
All I need is courage.

1/07/05
-Dabatos



1.08.05
-Dabatos
__________________

www.FG-Servers.com






Last edited by Dabatos : 01-19-05 at 08:26 PM.
Send a message via AIM to Dabatos   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-05, 09:13 PM   #2
Dabatos
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
 
Dabatos's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,693
From: Bay Area
IP:

Please give me feedback on this people, and make it good feedback, like explain it, plz...
__________________

www.FG-Servers.com





Send a message via AIM to Dabatos   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-05, 08:14 PM   #3
Insight.
'Member Those Golden Days
 
Posts: 8,229
IP:

Pretty good. Overall I felt that your vocab is aight, not the best. Imagery, not much. Lot of emotion though, and good poem overall. Wow this relates to my life. I was afraid, but hey, it worked for me. I'm going out with her now . Keep writing man, world needs more poets. 8/10 px

Last edited by Personify : 01-10-05 at 08:22 PM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-05, 11:53 PM   #4
MC IgGY
Banned: Cheating
 
MC IgGY's Avatar
 
Posts: 559
From: LA
IP:

you use a lot of emotion in that poem, that is good
vocab was ok, keep it up
good job
Send a message via AIM to MC IgGY   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-05, 01:07 AM   #5
Dabatos
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
 
Dabatos's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,693
From: Bay Area
IP:

thanx, really appreciate it.. uppin
__________________

www.FG-Servers.com





Send a message via AIM to Dabatos   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-05, 06:39 PM   #6
fluidmoon
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
 
fluidmoon's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,183
From: NEW YORK
IP:

nice poem man, yea,your emotion was definately shining in this one,more then the words were,but its ok to keep it simple with talking about something we all need,you feel me? great job on this poem, stay up.1
__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

O Y D

*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-05, 07:22 PM   #7
Dabatos
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
 
Dabatos's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,693
From: Bay Area
IP:

Thanx for the feed fam.. uppin
__________________

www.FG-Servers.com





Send a message via AIM to Dabatos   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:41 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.