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Old 01-11-05, 09:16 AM   #1
Dex
Gods Of War! -yeah im one
 
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From: UK
First open mic from the dex

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I only did this as a tryout and was given the topic but i want to see wat people think of it.


Lifes tribulations

A quick short verse of the tribulations of life
If you really want to know ask Brad Pitt’s wife
Usually refer to you wife as trouble and strife
But shes split now, and shes fit with a hype,
watch all the famous guys going in for the swipe
Quicker than Twister spitting a well written rhyme.

I cant see how he could drive Jen round the bend
But She will survive cos shes still got her “friends”
Relationships break up, your left to get on the mend
The end is always around the corner, Lets not pretend

But the tribulation that’s on most of the worlds mind
Think of the worst natural shit today to happen to mankind
Unlucky people in Asia hit by the Tsunami big wave
By wave I dont mean the one you see at a football game
I mean the natural disaster where theres no one to blame
A damn shame, people left with nothing to claim
Who will Bush hold responsible and take aim?
Lets all be sensible, donate money for relief aid.

Personal tribulation, shit that happens fucking daily
spend 20mins at the bus stop waiting, aggrevated.
Bus finally comes get moving, arrive at the train station
Only to see the driver aint patient,
Hes fucked off and you weren’t even late!


Give some feedback and i'll return the favour


u must drop a link with PROPER FEED-BACK with-in 24 hours or this will be closed....
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=170871



links to my feedback:

[[[[1]]]]]
[[[[2]]]]]
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Last edited by The Dex : 01-11-05 at 06:36 PM.
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Old 01-11-05, 09:26 AM   #2
Speats
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werd man this was dope,seriously,i imagine that on audio for sure,good drop Dex
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Old 01-11-05, 01:37 PM   #3
intensify effect
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u must drop a link with PROPER FEED-BACK with-in 24 hours or this will be closed....
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=170871
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Old 01-11-05, 01:51 PM   #4
GKillaz05
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yo Dex, that was some pretty good shit. Your flow was well threwout the whole verse. You stayed on topic well, and dropped some hot rhymes in there. I rate it about 6.5/10. Keep up the good work Dex.
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Old 01-11-05, 04:33 PM   #5
C-Bo
...Simply The Best
 
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this was pretty good Dex...u kinda surprised me...u had some pretty good punches in there...your flow was consistent and i liked how you stayed on topic with ur verse cuz...good shit...7/10
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Old 01-11-05, 06:36 PM   #6
Dex
Gods Of War! -yeah im one
 
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thanx peeps. Uppin for some more feed
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Old 01-14-05, 09:04 AM   #7
T-Dot
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WHACK, I dont think that was good at all. YOu started off fine.. but then it just went downhill. I have read many better in the open mic's. But I will rate this 5/10.. for the ok start. No hate, I wanna battle you to Dex, so set it up if you want to.
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Old 01-16-05, 04:22 PM   #8
Dex
Gods Of War! -yeah im one
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by T-Dot
WHACK, I dont think that was good at all. YOu started off fine.. but then it just went downhill. I have read many better in the open mic's. But I will rate this 5/10.. for the ok start. No hate, I wanna battle you to Dex, so set it up if you want to.



any time squire. any time
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Old 01-14-05, 10:08 AM   #9
MADDRAPPER
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Had Good Content But You Didn't Stay On Topic Hey Critique My Post Please
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Old 01-14-05, 10:11 AM   #10
MADDRAPPER
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Hey Peep My Post Give Me Some Feedback
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Old 01-16-05, 04:27 PM   #11
Black Queen
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nice piece fam i like your structure and flow was good to man keep droppin leave feedback on my open mic links in sig
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