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Rastafari Walk Tall
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Baptized In Fire - Acuity
IP:
Baptized In Fire ........Hear Me....... Inevitable circumstances, like my life is already wired on God's motherboard My head is dipped in the rages of ancient malevolent narcotic lords Im an embryo,terminally ill, constricted at the neck by poverty's umbilical cord My life is diagnosed to be ill-fated, like at my temple lies the tip of a sword As im engulfed in the fires of old that have ravaged the times of past The blaze spews out of every molecular skin pore, burning through my leg cast Im awake to the fact that life in the ghetto, is like being born into hell Walking around with tormented entities, suffering with pains that holy water cant quell I stand, bathed in the flickering souls of previous lost and tortured generations Driping in their essence, their pain, their emotions, resulting from ghetto confrontations I was born suprised, i saw the light but it was disguised by a false baptize Now my emotions are ruled by despise, emotion that once conjured cannot be revised Baptised in fire, rename the allocated title and theme my ghetto gospel Because life keeps one in the fire and brimstone and people can use my verse as a hostel My life at any moment in this heritical fantasy can spontaneously combust Its like the lord has the lock to happiness, but he let the key disintegrate and rust To the followers and zions he has in many ways broken his unwritten code of trust In Christ's name for centuries they have died, many feel their baptism injust The screams of grief, murder and temptaion, fail to be surpassed by the god's angelic choir Because in this world, itis impossible for a human being to advance higher As my very foundations are being burned at, my task is futile, i must retire Im doomed to fail,because being born in the ghetto is like being baptized in fire
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"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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Bonecrushing Nigga
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IP:
Thje shit is deep as fuck man.... i loved the title.. Babtized in Fire... the Creativity was awesome.....
Props... this is very dope
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Guess who?... ...Paramik Fuckin'...
...Owns You! ||RVS Text Champion||
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Banned: Cheating
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IP:
i love the topic very good and creative....good vocab and very good i jsut liked this alot...good flow and stucture just a good damn poet here...word.
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Rastafari Walk Tall
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IP:
yo thanx 4 tha feed y'all...bump
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"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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Bangs like bikini attol
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IP:
Aiight no real new topics faced here, I mean we see all the time people with messages about the ghetto struggle. So these days its all about the wording and emotions that can be collected from the words we use. While I liked the way you put it to an extent, however I did think you were droneing on a bit with the vocab.. A good vocab should be applauded, but the way its over used sometimes can make the peice seem pretty average.. The thing is with poetry, is you want peoples emotions to take over their thought patterns.. If their constantly having to look back and think about what a word means and why you might of used it there, then theyll have a harder time feeling the emotion in your peice..
Sorry if I seemed like I trashed your poem, because it aint like that.. I just think that vocab and imagry come very far second to emotion, which due to all the large abstrakt word useage you had going I think was tainted.. Was still a good peice nonetheless.. |
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP:
I thought that with the vocabulary you used, you made this even more emotional, you could have been simple, but you chose to leave the imagery and scene to us as readers, i really enjoyed this poem, you truly have a talent for this..keep it up.1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D ![]() ![]() *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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Bonecrushing Nigga
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IP:
I Know for a fact it took you very long to make this... judging by the other peices of shit youve had earlier....
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED......leave feedback, not hate....and as a matter of fact,write a poem, don't come in here bashing others..i will ban you
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Guess who?... ...Paramik Fuckin'...
...Owns You! ||RVS Text Champion||
Last edited by fluidmoon : 01-26-05 at 01:42 PM. |
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FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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IP:
shit was dope as fuck mayne...str8 up...the title is dope and the whole thing was just deep...great job...keep them coming...~1~
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"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
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