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Old 02-22-05, 02:15 PM   #1
Lil C
Middle Weight
 
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Posts: 511
From: Detroit
The Get Right

IP:

This is what it feels like
To find a twenty on the street,
See a child starvin,
And not offer somethin to eat,
See a drug dealer,
Pushin' youth in too deep,
But you still buy a dime bag,
To satisfy The Fiend.

This is what it feels like
To grow up getting beat up,
When your face is bruised,
But you're steady piling on makeup,
When your ride is hott,
Speakers bump a heavy feed,
But you're riding nowhere,
'Cuz you couldn't pass the G.E.D.

This is what it feels like
To see your mother being raped,
Walk out the door,
And look away like she's safe,
Walk to the corner,
See a man holdin' a gun,
But ignoring his ignorance,
When its the innocent gettin' shot up.

This is what it feels like
To ignore the danger signs,
You pop 8 pills a day,
And you think you're in your prime,
You steal from your grandmother,
When she raised you through hard times,
You think you movin' foreward,
But you're getting left behind.
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Old 02-22-05, 02:39 PM   #2
Ma$fit
Cus I Jus Ma$fit Dis Shit
 
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Posts: 1
From: DETROIT IN DIS BITCH!!!
IP:

oh shit...dis is da shit...i gotta start writtin poetry on here...i really felt dis...return tha fava...click tha second sig...8/10 (if yall do dat for poetry)...stay up C...rep tha D
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Old 02-23-05, 01:40 PM   #3
Lil C
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Posts: 511
From: Detroit
IP:

thanx fo da feed....uppin dis shit..................
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Old 02-24-05, 06:53 PM   #4
no competition
Banned: Cheating
 
Posts: 34
IP:

i like ur ideas & da way u formulated & set the scene 4 different topics 2 b expressed very impressive vocab was there...strucutre was good...multis there were a few...overall quality i've give it 10/10 i like the quality keep up the good work on the real
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Old 02-27-05, 02:10 AM   #5
Scribe
 
Posts: 2
IP:

ALright Damn This Piece Was Dope, Your Talented, I Like What You Write About Most Complex Ish, Nice Job, You Had Good Vocabulary In Here And It Was Descriptive..One Thing Was Try And Make The Lines Add Up Naw I'm Saying But Other Then That This Was A Good Piece Girl...9/10
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Old 02-27-05, 05:52 PM   #6
fluidmoon
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
 
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Posts: 2,183
From: NEW YORK
IP:

this was dope, i liked your descriptiveness of your words and what was on your mind came out perfectly, so true were your words too, i love reading poems like this, great job girl, i usually dont see dope pieces from girls in here.keep it up.1
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Old 02-28-05, 05:35 AM   #7
Lil C
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Posts: 511
From: Detroit
IP:

lol thanx fo da feed guys i really appreciate it....
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Old 03-06-05, 07:50 AM   #8
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Posts: 3,675
From: Alosta City
IP:

Whoa, loving this drop girl! You had such a sense of reality to it plus an emotional yet powerful vibe. The vocab was real good, feeling the way you described everything. Managed to make me picture it inside my head...Concept is nice, like how you divided it into several paragraphs! Dope piece girl! Keep it up!

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Old 03-06-05, 12:45 PM   #9
Lil C
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Posts: 511
From: Detroit
IP:

thanx fo da feed girl, really appreciate it.....uppin
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