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Old 02-28-05, 01:18 PM   #1
fluidmoon
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Wink *zen*

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We all have what it takes to make or break our own situation,
To evaluate the purpose in this life and live our valued worth,
A gift given at birth, to make this evaluation, this test...work,
By a higher power, we are granted to strive in complex times,
With what we percieve to be truth in our encaved troubled minds,
What is this life for? We look to our "Big" brother and sisters,
Realizing it is love that binds us, the compassion from Mrs.& Mr.'s,
The underlying force field of energy that holds us and makes this real,
This devotion of unspoken family, the oneness that we all internally feel,
Deep down, unity is the ZEN truth to seek inside,
That we ever need to truly embrace and learn to live by...
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Old 02-28-05, 08:21 PM   #2
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def feeling this your very good with your words. i liked its flow ... i could see it as i read it nice one...
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Old 03-01-05, 04:14 PM   #3
CeleriTy
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this is really nice... i love how u just left it at that.. u didnt over do it.. u came.. u spoke.. u left.. it was dope.. and well delivered.. i like the use of vocab.. because u didnt come too much with it.. but u put just enough in there.. this was a really nice drop.. i think im'a get back into poetry..
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Old 03-01-05, 05:12 PM   #4
fluidmoon
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word^^thank you, just come here and speak your mind, in poem form
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Old 03-01-05, 06:49 PM   #5
Macca
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Nice. ZEN what is that. Well anyways you put alot of effort into this. I like that. Please keep em coming..


Oh and can I have my poems back. I'll leave feed back on all who get slept on and I'll leave feedback on all else too.
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Old 03-01-05, 06:53 PM   #6
fluidmoon
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yes, you can, i'm sorry i deleted it..i sent a pm to you, thanks for the feed, and please continue to drop poems....theres a few of you, who have really done exceptional pieces..and i wouldnt want you to leave..
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Old 03-02-05, 12:34 AM   #7
A_M_H
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this was very good ma i like it u put all ur emotions in this 1 & u got good vocab..structure was on point...delivery was da best i've seen in dez poems & overall was 9.5/10
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Old 03-02-05, 09:07 PM   #8
Red Stroke
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This Was Cool, But I've Bin Watching Your Poems Around Here, And In Most You Use The Same Vocabulary Or Rhyming With The Same, Try And Be more Creative With Your Poems, Add Emotion As Well
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