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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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03-22-05, 10:13 PM
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#1
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...Untouchable...
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When She Dissapeared
IP:
My Heart-Is-Aching,Coz Apart-We're-Breaking Hard-To-Erase-Me,No Card-Could-Rplace-Me Don't Want To Catch-A-Break Or Match-A-Date Patch-A-Break, My Heart Scratched-An-Scraped Contiplate, Girl, How It Took A Month-To-Make Keep-Us In Memory Girl While It Was Sweet-Love Heat Feavers,Complicated Problems Belive-Us Tape-Deck Blasting With Them Old Slow-Songs Lately......I See Your House And I Just Roll-On I'm Singing BabyFace When Will I See You Again Nobody Can Love Me Like You Girl No Pretend Last edited by Maximus Meridius : 03-23-05 at 02:31 AM. |
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03-22-05, 10:28 PM
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#2
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP:
This was pretty decent, you dont have to use those~ to separate your words, because then it seems like your trying too hard to rhyme in a particular scheme, poetry is like a free write, where you can just write what your thoughts are or what your feeling without having to overpower it with rhymes, i like your words, but back them with power...keep dropping..1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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03-22-05, 11:32 PM
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#3
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...Untouchable...
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IP:
Thanks Weerd, Upping
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03-23-05, 03:09 PM
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#4
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...Untouchable...
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IP:
Bump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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