fames outrage praised by my glory's raise
Im tamed but not lamed to the gory stage,im un-named
an unphased teen smokes crack in his mom's face,what shame
and in accordance I just watch the hussle
not in any forces but I knock the huddle
I'll take my place, thanks for your company
my mind thinks like the eye winks, very mumbly
and humbly I seize for a fitted but not grinnin
just lookin for a job but am not winnin
wantin rims spinnin and a good life to sit in
like my shoes,which I need new but cant get em
I need a new shortcut,I even need a new shorts,fuck
im stuck,I cant figure out how to end this struggle
I never been in a position like this but annoying trouble
trouble on my mind for no reason,I cant believe it
too much thinkin goin on,the answers are all there....
but I cant see it
I need hope, I need a place they call heaven
this is what's on my mind and it's all venom...

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Unknown Legend...

here...

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=187345

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Unknown Legend...

yo this aight i've read better but u had some decent rhymes in ur rap nuthin that really touched me though..but keep it up and remain real i've noticed u werent frontin in this like some others in this site..just dont rap bout what u aint holmes and u'll do fine..add some more multis and make sure ta get a lil longer with ur open mics...i've noticed lots of you rappaz on this site is gettin a lil lazy when it comes to typin make sure ta perfect ur shit, make it interesting and add a hooks and 2 verses..but anywayz this shit was ok...6.5/10

i didnt really like this....it was like you were rhyming just for the sake of rhyming...there was no real story or plotline or moral to it or anything.... i dunno, it flowed nicely but eh.. i think this is something that would probably sound better on audio but eh...keep up

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hood said it...cmon adren, we both know dat u can do much better man...lets be serious...and by tha way, return tha fava (link in sig) and we need to collab again fam...but dis wasnt yo regular type shit nigga...1

-DB

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