|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
|
|
04-29-05, 02:34 PM
|
#1
|
||||
|
Rastafari Walk Tall
|
...Cyclical Teardrops...Acuity...
IP:
Cyclical Teardrops
...Muse... Quote:
From the episodes of chaos in the beginning, to the days of creation in the lords hands Tears have fallen in a cyclical manner form the skies, from eyes, in his masterplan One could philosphy and trace the contours in the ground left by the glacial flow of lysosome An unrelenting attack on the closet of the heart, filling and creating deep trenches in the soul Whether glee, pleasure, sadness or any fluctuation of emotion, glandular secretions are witnessed They can't be dismissed, their prescense marks the height of feeling and forces an entity to reminisce Irratic in their arrival, sparadic in the departure, in ancient time to contemporary times Teardrops have dropped, and watered the rivers of hell, whether physically or metaphorically in lines Immortalised, sadness, in a shakesperian rhyme and poetic smoke, exceedin the life of an oak Infinite existence in an artists lethargic brush stroke,In the tremble of a childs voice as he spoke ...Body... Expression of a tear is a weary fear to which males adhere Yet it is sick to be afraid, of something of which you made As it it ventures down ur face, what use is their in feeling shame Many think of it as a game, emotion..........they are the ones compassionately lame Then loves heart pounds, its booming sound, heard all around Increased activty, in the system of thee, prompts chemical synergy And the cycle is exacted, as once acted, in a previous action Thats why its a cycle, its unscripted, like the bible's book of micheal And its a revolving revolution, that has not been stamped out by evolution ...Blueprint... Recycling emotions felt when dinosaurs walked this dimension, when Marco Polo took on adventure To restart what was once started by another, all it takes is for a situaton to rightly be conjured Its nature's true water cycle, a beautiful manifestation of pain or other prompting absolution Such as confusion, either way it's spectacular, like the creation of colour, the strength of a mother Teardrops are a fixed matrix, they're certified,the son,the father,the holy ghost have cried Stones have wept,walls such as those of 20th century gas chambers hav cried and never slept Cyclical in nature they have fallen in many forms, in each case they have worn,a groove in the book of history So that their purpose isnt surrounded in mystery,unlike the torment of a ghostly banshee Solution of salt,water,chemical nutrition and hormonal aborition,falls to the floor and descends Descends to the center of the earth,and is angelically placed in the eye of a new-born baby child at birth ...Conclusion... Quote:
---Acuity, Beats Rhymes and Life #8--- Dope poem, Featured for a week~FLUID 
__________________
"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer Last edited by fluidmoon : 05-16-05 at 08:24 PM. |
||||
|
|
04-29-05, 03:25 PM
|
#2
|
||
|
Rastafari Walk Tall
|
IP:
__________________
"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
||
|
|
|
04-29-05, 04:57 PM
|
#3
|
|||
|
...
|
IP:
This Is A Long As Poem But Defintaly Worth The Read The Emotion Is Good Imagery Is Perfection Vocab Well Your Vocabs Always Top This Is A Real Dope Drop Im Really Feeling This All Throughout Some Real Dope Lines The Length Kinda Makes You Get Bored But Your Able To Pull The Reader Back In As Usual Dope Drop Homie 8.5/10
__________________
vvv AND A NEW LEVEL OF HERB EMERGES vvv Quote:
^^in other words your scared running from a battle on a site made for battling and your mod so you dont have to battle you just duck and pop shit? herb  I OWN RB YOUR NAME GOES HERE SOCRATES
EFUSIVE PAIR-A-DYCE LYRIC
VALOR
OAKLEY SDIZZLE
|
|||
 
|
|
|
04-30-05, 05:40 AM
|
#4
|
||
|
Rastafari Walk Tall
|
IP:
thanks 4 tha feed John lol....bump.......
__________________
"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
||
|
|
|
04-30-05, 06:28 PM
|
#5
|
|
|
I walk & walk over you
|
IP:
Aiight aiight, nice vocab, the imaginary of this verse was good. You had spelling erro'z, but i'm too lazy to tell ya. The emotion of this verse was neh, ok, but i wanted to see more yo. You came in a good angle, originality, matter of fact. All i gots to say iz, this a deep good verse here, man, stay up....
__________________
.:* Crhyme Sindicate* :.
|
|
|
|
|
04-30-05, 06:45 PM
|
#6
|
||
|
Rastafari Walk Tall
|
IP:
 not all poetry has 2 b a reflection of emotion.....especially when my drop is focused on making a concious description of a process....the poem centers around metaphor and imagery, desribin how in my eyes teardrops r always shed and how they are expressed..thered b hella emotion if i was describin sum1 crying instance....but i aint! lol, thanks 4 da feed fam
__________________
"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
||
|
|
|
05-02-05, 07:56 AM
|
#7
|
||
|
Rastafari Walk Tall
|
IP:
bump...........................
__________________
"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
||
|
|
|
05-02-05, 02:16 PM
|
#8
|
||
|
Odi et Amo
|
IP:
Strongest aspect of your piece was the imagery without a doubt and also how you defined those teardrops in various ways. The vocabulary was excellent as usual but I love how your words never affect the content of the poem or the message you want to convert. This isn't an emotional type of poem but more of an insightful one and you really brought your top game when it comes to the deeper lines. Made me stop and think about some things here and there. I love reading your pieces due to your writing style, even though it was a long read you managed to keep the readers focussed thanks to your vivid way of description.
Nice piece fam
__________________
Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
||
|
|
|
05-02-05, 03:02 PM
|
#9
|
|
|
In the midst of it all.
|
IP:
This piece was really interesting because you held me with the metaphors. Plus, it was a variant since you were talking about a cycle. Good imagery, vocabulary was on point cos you didnt overload & spoil the content with it.
9/10 Please could you rtf in my sig. |
|
|
|
|
05-03-05, 12:17 AM
|
#10
|
|
|
Whys That?
|
IP:
wow!
dope shit, meat's like crazy. originality held this on lock for you fam. |
|
|
|
|
05-03-05, 12:23 AM
|
#11
|
|
|
Back....
|
IP:
Nice man. I liked the way your poem was worded. Was easy to understand. I iked the quote and the addition of you giving the meaning. Very nice. I would mind elevating off your poems but I'm a good poet. The best way to become the best is to do it on your own. hell thats a quote by me.lol. Just keep up the good work. I will read your poems now. They are very creative and very decisive. Keep that shit coming bruh.
__________________
Back..... |
|
|
|
|
|
05-10-05, 03:33 PM
|
#12
|
||
|
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
|
IP:
wow, love the metaphors, some deep concepts and you seemed to have fun playing with your vocabulary, this is a very well thought out poem, i enjoyed reading this..1
__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
||
|
|
|
05-10-05, 03:51 PM
|
#13
|
||
|
in your system
|
IP:
word, very deep material right here....some really great lines in there, put alot of thought into this and it shows, good vocab and you use it very effectively...just loved the whole idea of the topic and how you let it roll out, good stuff man
keep up
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
||
|
|
|
|
05-10-05, 04:38 PM
|
#14
|
||
|
in your system
|
IP:
oh yeah, rtf if ya could, when you get time
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
||
|
|
|
|
05-14-05, 06:29 AM
|
#15
|
||
|
Rastafari Walk Tall
|
IP:
will do drakel............thanks 4 da feed y'll
__________________
"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Hybrid Mode
