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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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05-02-05, 02:07 PM
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#1
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In the midst of it all.
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It all falls to time.
IP:
My mind matters collapse. A test of mind over matter. If you dont mind it doesnt matter. If it dont matter you wont mind. Spirals loop inferior memorys. Score settled among them. Attic of dreams tucked away. Only to be discovered & toyed with. Pains & sorrows given new breath. They shatter & collide with thoughts. Tussle for a portion of control. Why? When every memory is whisked. Away. Into the midst. Swallowed in its own morals. Over time, they dissolve. They disintegrate into nothingness. Gradually... As seconds, minutes, hours. Days, weeks, fortnights, months. Years, decades power by. & gradually... The mind. Matter. Pain. Sorrow. Crumble, it all falls. |
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05-02-05, 02:19 PM
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#2
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In the midst of it all.
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IP:
I'm new to poetry so leave me some feedback and tips!
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05-02-05, 02:28 PM
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#3
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Odi et Amo
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IP:
I really enjoyed reading this piece due to the deeper meaning of phrases and sometimes just simple words you used. Emotion was very strong and I like the concept you went with here, how everything crumbles down as time goes on, how everything falls. Your vocab was good, you kept it rather basic but that made the message more powerful and direct in my opinion.
Nice piece right here! 
__________________
Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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05-03-05, 12:53 PM
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#4
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In the midst of it all.
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IP:
Bump.
. . . Bump. |
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