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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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05-09-05, 08:39 PM
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#1
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in your system
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Drifting
IP:
Drifting
drifting aimlessly in a sea that never ends boiling with animosity, creating waves of despair splashing against my hull, on the edge of shattering a broken mast, shredded sail, anchor dragging bottom the lonely, cold sound of rain, my only friend no compass to guide me, heavens completely clouded direction just a myth that leads to false hope traveling the same route over and over again a repetitive voyage which only brings more misery lost in my thoughts, sanity now completely shrouded appearance is decieving, im caught in a constant struggle attempting to steer straight, but the storm engulfs me ambition now drowns away, following my peace of mind dreams of a beacon fall quicker than the enveloping night as if the day grows near when my ship sinks to rubble the overwhelming madness conceals the collision with some cliffs my motionless body washes upon the nearest sandy shore my empty life fades away, my presence nearly meaningless until soft footsteps approach, kneeling beside me a fair maiden as if sent by god himself...rescued by the touch of her lips... _________________________________________ basically my feelings of late......thought i'd key something up to relieve some shit, word Imagery and Vividness....Featured~FLUID 
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE Last edited by fluidmoon : 05-16-05 at 08:27 PM. |
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05-10-05, 12:38 PM
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#2
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in your system
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IP:
hmmm, bumpdiddly
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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05-10-05, 12:57 PM
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#3
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP:
This was ok. I like your imaginary, it's creative. The emotion needs was ok, i though it should be upp a little. The balance of your vocab was good. Overall, good poem, keep writing. Use meta'z to make your imaginary more complex. Return a favor, please. http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=189712 S~A
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal:  ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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05-10-05, 03:44 PM
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#4
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP:
wow, dope metaphors in this poem, nice vocabulary and you stayed on topic, nice imagery as well..keep dropping.1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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05-16-05, 09:44 PM
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#5
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in your system
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IP:
bump..............
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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05-20-05, 02:08 PM
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#6
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in your system
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IP:
bump, once again
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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05-31-05, 07:07 PM
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#7
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in your system
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IP:
49 views
5 replies 3 of them mine   ............poetry section(me)
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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06-29-05, 11:02 PM
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#8
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aka'd
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IP:
^ lol.................
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The Establishment I am the Batman. |
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07-04-05, 09:21 PM
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#9
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original.
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IP:
i liked this one.
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don't try....just STFU
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