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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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05-11-05, 07:38 PM
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#1
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Back....
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Behind Closed Doors
IP:
I’m sick of being that kid crying cuz his friends gone And he now has no one else at all to depend on I’m like no other kid cuz I’m always in my bed Wishing I was never alive so I wouldn’t know dead I’ve tried so many ways to try and reshape my fate But voices tell me that I can’t fight something that’s fake I had to drink from the toilet in order to get a drink Cuz I was never allowed to put a cup under the sink Everyday my dad would come home intoxicated with burban Drunk or not my dad would constantly tell me I’m a burden I never trusted anyone cuz nothing promised was ever certain Don’t want to eat my food cuz I’m worried about what’s in it And right before my mom laid it on the table I was finished Don’t expect me to ever turn cuz the world will never change That is the only reason why the world is what I blame Chorus Dear dad I want you to die and most of all burn in hell I want to make it where only god wishes you were well Die a death full of gore; I don’t wanna deal with you anymore Your skeleton is the thing I want behind closed doors I knew as a child I didn’t have the power to fire off a gun But what I didn’t know is that I had the power in me to run They were fueling the fury inside me, the anger was yelling silently Life is hard like my dads fists and it hurt cuz I tightened my heart tightly I don’t have any options at all nor will I ever have a prospect I found love and I wanted it but never got it so I know I haven’t lost it If god is in the heavens than I look up and all I see is a long way I’m never having fun and to me a minute is like a long day My father actually thought I wanted broken bones as a gift If I had a choice to love my dad or die I’d rather never exist Dad you dug your own grave I won’t ask to bury you. I’ll insist Chorus Dear dad I want you to die and most of all burn in hell I want to make it where only god wishes you were well Die a death full of gore; I don’t wanna deal with you anymore Your skeleton is the thing I want behind closed doors
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05-11-05, 07:39 PM
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#2
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Back....
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IP:
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05-11-05, 09:19 PM
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#3
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..."6s"...
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IP:
emotional shit man, im feeling you.... I liked it. Id like to see some more metaphorical/wordplay in this peice, to make a truely dope song, other than that, its just hot
 ... keep uppin , good shit tho man.
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::[ - THE PROBLEM WITH THIS GENERATION - ]:: |
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05-11-05, 10:56 PM
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#4
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IP:
This was an okay drop, could have been better
Structure and flow was on point,and it made your verse good Wordplay and vocab was decent felt you could have used better wording , and deeper words, It was still good dont get my wrong just a suggestion , imagery , and emotions were really good along with imagery , and feeling keep it up
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The Competition
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05-11-05, 11:46 PM
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#5
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~*This Worldz A Sin So Why Hate Me For My Habits~*
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IP:
nice but i seen better but not tryin to hate but that was pretty nice! holla atcha boy
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"This Worlds A Sin So Why Hate Me For My Habits"-Gh0st-
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05-12-05, 04:28 PM
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#6
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Back....
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IP:
Wack feedback. I will not return the fav ghost. Thanx for all the nice feed you two.
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05-13-05, 06:01 PM
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#7
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Back....
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IP:
uppin this shit....
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05-14-05, 08:28 PM
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#8
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Yes you.
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IP:
damn the emotion in this is hott fam..Lyrics are solid...good drop..
upping for fam!
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Im A Throwback |
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05-16-05, 06:04 PM
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#9
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Back....
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IP:
uppin this shit.....
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05-16-05, 07:05 PM
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#10
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The Paragraph President
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IP:
nice stucture decent flow pretty good imagery but i was thinking your rhyme scheme was a little off. work on that like intenral rhymes n shit. vocab could have been upped a little more but overall i rate it a C
rtf in my OM Morbid Thoughts its Parallel
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05-16-05, 07:08 PM
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#11
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Back....
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IP:
heh iight. uppin.
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05-17-05, 06:07 PM
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#12
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Back....
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IP:
uppin this........
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05-18-05, 06:59 PM
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#13
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Back....
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IP:
uppin this one more time.....
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