steppin up my game my mind is elevated
gonna stay that way
im forever contemplating
new ways to run all these bitches out
im not scared to let it be known
i knock a nigga out
da only female prepared to take ova da south
imma ride out like jesse james
clear da way im bout to make flames
to me every nigga one in da same
so if u want some get some
just like da crazy train
if u think u can get on my level
get at me imma leave ya blind and disheveled
gonna b like da devil
let ya ass burn in hell
eatin bitches alive cant u tell
imma make ya head ring
like a church bell'

__________________
Dont Get It TWISTED: dats right it came from Mi$$ PimPtre$$

dang i thought people on dis site was supposed to give feedback

__________________
Dont Get It TWISTED: dats right it came from Mi$$ PimPtre$$

not bad if it's your first drop. Your flow wasn't too bad. Jus work a lil bit on your structure, and upp your vocab. But overal, not bad, ma. keep droppin' and elevatin'. pc one.

__________________

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=193780

oh, and RTF. pc one.

__________________

thanks for the feedback whats RTF

__________________
Dont Get It TWISTED: dats right it came from Mi$$ PimPtre$$

^^^^it means return the favour.

anyway the structure was kinda difficult to follow and the vocab was simple, however it wasn't a bad piece considering your a newbie. Your structure, flow, vocab etc. will improve with time so don't feel discouraged cos no one's saying it was hot.

After all if people did that for every piece, how would you know what your weak points are?
And how would you be able to elevate?

Anyway keep at it and you will gradually elevate.

Peace

Can you leave some feedback on the open mic pieces in my link?

aight i gotcha thanks

__________________
Dont Get It TWISTED: dats right it came from Mi$$ PimPtre$$

can you give me some ideas on upping my stucture

__________________
Dont Get It TWISTED: dats right it came from Mi$$ PimPtre$$

steppin up my game my mind is elevated
gonna stay that way
im forever contemplating
new ways to run all these bitches out
im not scared to let it be known
i knock a nigga out

^aiight this is how you wrote it, right?

try it like this:
steppin up my game my mind is elevated
gonna stay that way, im forever contemplating
new ways to run all these bitches out
im not scared to let it be known,i knock a nigga out


Like when you rhyme you're like (letters stand for the end word of each line. If they the same letter, it means it rhymes):

xxxxx-xxxxxA
xxxxB
xxxxA

Try for:

xxxxx-xxxxxA
xxxxx-xxxxxA



^like try for that. HArd to explain, but you get the jist of it?

__________________

yer thats how you wanna do it, gud piece, jus work on how its set out. peace

__________________

aight i think i get what u sayin imma keep tryin fa sho thanks for ya help tho good lookin out

__________________
Dont Get It TWISTED: dats right it came from Mi$$ PimPtre$$

^no prob, ma. anytime... pc one.

__________________

yo to help ure structure....remember syllables helped me alot...remember to RTF

__________________

www.soundclick.com/dollaback

Use the tutorials, grasshopper.

Current Rank: Niglet-in-Training

what tutorials?

__________________
Dont Get It TWISTED: dats right it came from Mi$$ PimPtre$$