check it

i know whats a smart move, my soul is so artfull
sowin my hearts wounds, thru flowin on parchment
brew me a mosh pit , and ill bruise u a bargain
slew u wit carnage, like i knew u at carthage

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the true u is harmless, test me and die quick
when my eyes twitch, i'll eat u alive bitch
ur close to being brokin in two, so get open and lose
what are u hopin to prove, i'll leave u soakin in pools
so what is what, slicin ur face is my only uppercut
u butterscotch, soft and sweet, lodged in a brothers gut
ud be left from me beatin, meet my intestine for speakin
cuz just like a recipe... u were meant to be eatin

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so respect me or treason, will be the charge dat ur fed
plus all ur thoughts stink, like u fart in ur head
i asked for susbstance, and u gave a morsil of bread
so fuck what u said,.. i ate ur torso instead
gotta work to be best, i know it herts like a wreck
so small a girl could reach for ur dick, but end up jerkin ur neck
dont think of me in RV, think of my hert and what i'm worth when i sweat
and know, im the worst to expect when u reseachin a vet!

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so whats ur purpose my friend... i write verses in pen
ur immersed in worthless garbage and can hardly pretend
so stop wit the shity noise, equiped to leave u stiff when im hitting joints
this city boys "black thought's" will flip u over the "tipping point"

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Duncan............................................

drunkin off someshit, dont know what i done did
if bars were kids id have more than a dumb bitch
u worn like a monks shoe, or torn like a punks shute
so when u say u dropin shit, i know u dont even want to
u drippin and droolin, while im spittin abusive
my mission is movement, ur written is stagnant
so i grip u wit rap text, like a fish in a dragnet
ur a clown wit a sad rep, so bounce like a bad check

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flip -spittin abusive-and-mission is movement
like this

*u drippin and droolin, my mission is movement
while im spittin abusive, ur writtin is stagnant

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Dopeness From A Wack Bastard...
Collabo With Me

What was this whole thing about, you dropped like 7 different mini-verses. Well i'll just rate them...


The first one was ok, although i dragged and placed it under average, due to whack usage of word placement.

The second one was better, but recipies aren't ment to be eaten cause i've never ate paper. The multies made it flow better, but still lacked some metaphors or good similies.

Third verse was like Damn! you improved a lot from the first two verses. The flow was way better and the rhyming grew with two-or-more-word-rhymes. The first line was funny and i like the "ate your torso instead"

Fourth verse dropped down, but not too far, the first line was good and i enjoyed the nice flow and good vocab. The ending bar was the thing that dropped it so watch out cause one line could mess it all up.

Your fifth fifth one improved even more...The flow was good and the rhyming was there as well. what made it better was the methaphors "bounce like a bad check". The whole abusve bar was tight as well. The only flaw was your first bar....

keep it up and can you give me some good feefback on my O.M., pz

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Open Mics

dowse u like rounds out a black tech
for actin like u hold a crown on ur fat head

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