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Old 08-09-05, 12:17 PM   #1
MADDRAPPER
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Posts: 1,550
Flaws of Street Life

IP:

Flaws of Street Life

Got bold ice and roll dice in a dimension of danger, my gun
Give attention to a stranger this cats wants to cheat I’m in anger dun
Wimp can’t escape attempt to debate over the cash I won
Not buying it, pay up! Shot my glock and collected the green back //
Attack mean like vaccine do bacteria with facts superior and exact
Attend to the sick with a blend very thick healing the whack
Revealing crack addicts, which later start stealing should back track
The main attraction is the lame faction of drug dealers that lack
Common sense just a phenomenon dense to the public packed
In a sack, some know pain with cocaine in their vein its an act
Of suicide //
This mess is proof I attest the truth bless with roof
Over my head, tax is rude no relaxed attitude turn loose
My check to the IRS, cry in sorrow no less hell my goose
Is cooked //
The stress is strong but like JAY-Z best known for rhyming
Smart and climbing charts staying on top of the game declining
Not good get props in the hood buff my stuff keep it shining
Like polished brass I’ll abolish a ass in my path so move over //
My affair true like a hairdo girl can’t compare you to another
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Old 08-09-05, 12:55 PM   #2
MADDRAPPER
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Old 08-09-05, 01:11 PM   #3
taz
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From: Quincy
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Yo man this had good concept good flow ...but ur structure waS SORTA off had little vocab man but u can up on that......i liked this a lot 8.5/10 nice multis and such....RTF on my sig links peace
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Old 08-09-05, 02:21 PM   #4
MADDRAPPER
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WOW LTAZ if you understood that then you're not rap illiterate just needed to pen your mind a little anyway thanks for the response
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Old 08-09-05, 03:01 PM   #5
taz
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From: Quincy
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no problem man keep postin keep elevatin but dont forget to RTF lol
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Old 08-09-05, 06:04 PM   #6
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Old 08-09-05, 09:08 PM   #7
Black Queen
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this was decent the vocab need to be upped the imargery wasnt great but it was there in a way you also lacked emotion everyone needs emotion in a song or w/e the structure was awful fix that and you should be ok
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Old 08-10-05, 05:52 AM   #8
MADDRAPPER
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Thanks For The Props And Critiquee For Real Yall
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Old 08-11-05, 07:52 AM   #9
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Old 08-11-05, 09:59 AM   #10
Payn
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From: Washington, DC
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yeah i agree wit taz u got sum good vocab but ur structure was off & jus didn't flow dat well but continue 2 work on it get a lil mo creative wit ya pieces & guarantee u'll betta results fa sho

rtf: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204043
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Last edited by Payn : 08-11-05 at 11:10 AM.
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