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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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09-02-05, 05:53 PM
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#1
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Light Weight
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...:::the Ideal:::...
IP:
I wish I could say, I knew you would be the one for me, so us holding hands wouldn't feel so arthritic. Silent strokes from a digit, wouldn't scream like a heart, when a knife is poking within it. See, you came at a time, where Love's fine line, was a monolithic barrier, composed of a rusted engagement ring, scorched bible pages, and satin comforters saturated in the finest juices of a former mirage. And for now, I embrace the focus its rancid stench gives me. So, please, only hold me from afar. Kiss me in your fabricated memories of our future. Reflect on ways you've made bedsheets, the initial canvas to sketch a relationship; View me as I view you: temporary whore, and find your ideal...elsewhere.
__________________
DIRTY RECORDS
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09-03-05, 10:34 AM
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#2
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pain is weakness leaving the body
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IP:
wow............ ummmmmmm....... can't help much as far as elevation, bcuz i couldn't find anything wrong with it. structure and vocabulary were great..... my favorite poem i've read so far (except the one i wrote, called all i have. link in my sig). if u aren't in a crew, u should consider joining Trigga Town Inc............ overall 10/10 <----the only one i've ever given out. keep doing what you're doing.
__________________
 "I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..." -Konchance my poetry: untitled |
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10-09-05, 02:46 AM
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#3
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Light Weight
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IP:
wow I havent been online for fucking ages and I still have the same amount of feed back.
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DIRTY RECORDS
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10-09-05, 04:08 PM
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#4
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1926
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IP:
Pm Me Two Links To Have This Re-Opened.
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10-09-05, 07:48 PM
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#5
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1926
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IP:
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2479406
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2479430 Thank You. *Open* |
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10-09-05, 08:02 PM
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#6
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Light Weight
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IP:
any chance in getting some feed back on this atticus
__________________
DIRTY RECORDS
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10-13-05, 10:13 PM
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#7
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Light Weight
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IP:
wow.
upping this drop.
__________________
DIRTY RECORDS
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10-14-05, 06:13 AM
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#8
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1926
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IP:
Ya Man, I'll Check It When I Get Home From School.
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11-07-05, 09:07 PM
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#9
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Light Weight
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IP:
^must be a long day at school
__________________
DIRTY RECORDS
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11-08-05, 12:32 AM
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#10
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New to RV
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IP:
YO THIS WAS NICE..9/10...not much i can say to hate on you...lol
favourite lines: scorched bible pages, and satin comforters saturated in the finest juices of a former mirage. AND So, please, only hold me from afar. Kiss me in your fabricated memories of our future. Reflect on ways you've made bedsheets, the initial canvas to sketch a relationship; |
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11-13-05, 01:53 PM
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#11
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Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
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IP:
wow this was good id like to see you in the verbal emotions and the poetry league u would be a defianate contender great piece
__________________
  O.Y.D. |
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11-14-05, 07:50 AM
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#12
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Middle Weight
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IP:
holy shit....dope ass poem fo sho.......vocab n structure were ON point.....dis is da first poem i've read dat has nothing wrong w/ it.......wow.....still awe struck....keep up da good work n hit me up sometime for a collab
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11-14-05, 03:03 PM
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#13
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Light Weight
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IP:
^
thanks ma Yeah pm me when ya want a collab. This is one of the better drops in this forum..why is not nominated or anything?
__________________
DIRTY RECORDS
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11-16-05, 01:19 AM
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#14
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Light Weight
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IP:
up like erections
__________________
DIRTY RECORDS
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